Need Closure!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2004
Need Closure!
2
Tue, 08-10-2004 - 7:31pm
I have been separated from my ex for 18 months. I still can't stop thinking about him, and i day dream about him coming back to me. I have had a relationship since then but as soon as it started getting serious i broke it off. I think i'm scared to be too involved with any one incase he will come back to me. I know he won't, but i want him to so much i sabotage my relationships. How can i stop thinking like this? How can i get to a point where i don't want him back? I am so desperate i am seriously thinking about burning everything of his... so please help!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2003
In reply to: ler85
Tue, 08-10-2004 - 7:42pm
you need to ask yourself exactly what it is you miss about him/ the relationship. It may have to do with your own internal anxieies than your love for him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
In reply to: ler85
Tue, 08-10-2004 - 7:59pm
You need to accept that the relationship is over, that is the only way to get over it. He is not coming back to you and for you to keep hoping he will is not healthy. You need to start writing down in a journal all your feelings and about your relationship. Let it all out on paper so it's out of your head. Then you have to look at why the relationship didn't work. I'm going to guess that he was the one who ended things, since you don't have closure. Is there a question you need answered from him- you don't need to ask him directly, but just figure out the question that is keeping you from getting closure.

I hope that you will consider seeking out a counsellor to help you deal with this. This is a major road block to any future happiness and until you confront, deal and work through this you will not move on. So start that journal and get it out.

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