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| Wed, 12-28-2005 - 12:37pm |
Ok...I am new at this and I am looking for some advice or help or just something...I will apologize now for this being long...here it goes: I am a 29 year single mother of 2, a daughter that is 8 and a son that is 9 months. My daughter visits her dad only 4 times a year due to the distance and my son's father will have absolutely nothing to do with him. So basically, I have my kids full time. I also work full time. I have just not been able to get back on my feet. You see, over the last year and a half I got out of an abusive 2 year relationship, got pregnant, lost my mother, lost my job, moved, started a new job, all while trying to be a strong stable parent for my kids. I met a man about 4 months ago online. We have been dating ever since and I can honestly say that he is the man that I have been looking for my whole life. I know that the short period of time that I have been with him and to still feel that is weird, but I believe that you can fall in love with someone before you even meet them. Because you already know what you are looking for and when you find it you just know. He is a very successful man, owns his own business, actively raises his 7 year old son, and is wonderful with my two kids. He treats my like a queen and gives me the unconditional love that I have always dreamed of. I honestly couldn't be happier! We have talked long term plans. We both want to spend the rest of our lives together and we often talk about "when we are married" or "when we live together". But have not made any plans. Here is my problem. Raising two kids, is financially draining me. I can barely make ends meet. I am constantly behind on bills, my son has been sick and I constantly get called from daycare to pick him up, which causes my boss to get upset. I fear I may lose my job due to the fact that I have missed so much work. I want the absolute best for my kids, but I can not provide all that they need at this point. I have an option to move in with my dad, save up some money, work an extra job if need be, to try to get back on my feet and have him help me with the kids. Sounds good, but the problem is that he lives 3 hours from me and that would mean me having to leave the love of my life. My kids are the most important thing to me and I want to do what is best for them, but I just don't want to lose my love. How do I tell him? Should I even move? The depression is getting to me, I don't know what else to do, and I am doing nothing for my kids by spending my time with them, crying over money, time, bills, and my own health. Please help me...I don't know what to do...

The state will assist with food and utilities if you qualify, i.e., have a low enough income, even when you're working. You can also get counseling free in many instances if the pressure is just too much, been there, done that.
I don't want to jeopardize your relationship, but I would think that after four months your bf should know you well-enough that you can tell him about some of your problems at least. First and foremost, he should be a friend. So if you're having some troubles, I would think he might be willing to help some. I don't know, it's your call. Of course, you don't want to get into a situation where you're dependent upon him I'm sure, but most all of us need help sometimes.
I hope things get better for you soon. There's lots of help out there, please avail yourself of it. Your kids need you!