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| Wed, 02-07-2007 - 8:21pm |
I really need your thoughts ... this is my situation:
Completely liking this co-worker 7 months ago. He likes me too. We hung out everyday, lunch, coffee ... etc we also had a sexual relationship. But we decided that it wasn't wise to date each other to prevent each other getting hurt. After all we both worked in a small company.
Two months later, I left the company. Rather than started dating seriously, we just "kept it casual". He says we are great friends that have great sex. In November, he went on a bunch of dates. Then stopped. Our relationship got closer than ever. Sometimes he even referred to our relationship as dating. And he claims he likes me a lot. About a month ago - I found out he started going back on Internet dating website again. We had a conversation and he said he needed to keep his options open. He wasn't to make sure I am ok with still us "keeping it casual". He wanted to make sure he wasn't leading me on. He even talked about Valentine's Day and asked if I had expected anything from him. Of course I lied and said no. As a girl, I was a little destroyed when I found out he is going on dates again.
Now the weird thing is, this whole thing has been going on for 7 months. We see each other mostly every week if not every other week. We email each other DAILY (for the last 7 months). I also know a secret - I have this personal blog ... well he doesn't know that I know that he knows the url to it. And he definitely doesn't know that I also know he checks it at least 2-4 times EVERYDAY for the last 7 months (I see whoever goes on it and what time). Now that's something I would do if I am obsessively crazy about the person ... not when Im only having a casual sexual friendship with them. And what's weirder is that after our "conversation" (as described above) last week, I found out he IS getting me a Valentine's Day present. I am sooooooooo confused. I'd like to know your thoughts.
Edited 2/7/2007 9:15 pm ET by stupidgirl1007

So you think he likes me? This isn't a game? I feel like there are so many mixed msg.
I have blogs of people I don't know on my list of favorites that if I'm not busy on a particular day, I may well check someone's blog 3-4 times a day. I don't think that means anything, necessarily.
I think he likes you and enjoy your company, but that's as far as it goes. If he wanted "more" than what you have, you'd know. If you want more and it's hurting you to keep things as is, you need to speak up and if he isn't willing to give you what you want, then you need to end it.
Sheri
He might like you or might not like you, but I am sure of one thing, you don't like you. Because if you did you would tell this man that either the two of you are in a committed relationship at this point or you have to move on.
This guy is busy having sex with you, enjoying your company but also making himself available to other women while you wonder what is going on. Quit wasting your time wondering how he feels and tell him what you want. If he can't agree to your terms then it is time to move on and find someone who is worthy of your time and effort.
When he asked you about Valentine's Day you should have told him the truth, "Yes, I am expecting something, I want dinner, a card and large box of chocolates from you." Lying does you no good.
Totally agree.
Jilly