Need help understanding BF comments
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Need help understanding BF comments
| Thu, 09-16-2004 - 3:08pm |
My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year. In June he told me he wanted us to live together. Yesterday, he admitted that he said that because he thought that's what I wanted to hear, but he didn't feel "ready" for it. He says he's afraid if we live together that I'll want to change him. He's afraid that I think he is someone he doesn't measure up to (i.e. a great guy) and that I have my expectations set too high on him. He wants to make sure he doesn't move in with the "wrong" person. He feels pressured about me being ahead of him in our relationship.
Now, he says he loves me, and still wants us to be together and be boyfriend/girlfriend, with separate houses, inter-crossing schedules, etc. Is he giving me the run around and buying time, or is he still working things out? He was is a 5-year very bad relationship that ended a couple of months before we met, and he says he's been burned. Is this an excuse? Will he ever make up his mind? I'd love men's input on this one. I can't read the foreign language.

Maybe this time he means exactly what he said.
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I know he is having a hard time giving up his single life, because he took care of his ex for way too long, and now enjoy the lack of responsibilities. How can I help me feel comfortable that moving in together is not such a horrible experience but would actually help our relationship grow? How do I let the pressure off him, while still letting him know that's what I want in the future?
There isn't any easy answer.
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Good Luck :-)