need input

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2004
need input
2
Fri, 07-23-2004 - 3:22pm
Ok So I've been dating this guy for 6 months. He travels about 2 weeks/month usually. Last time he travelled he flew me up with him and we spent the weekend together there, which was soo much fun. ANyways, so he has been in town for the past few weeks. We have spent almost every weekday night together hanging out, talking, etc. However lately, on the weekends (Fri and Sat) we usually don't see each other that much. I asked him about it and he said that he just feels like he should and wants to spend time with his guy friends, and since we see each other every other day, then it should be ok. At first thought, I thought this made total sense because I want to hang out with my friends too. And it is good for us to have our alone time.

But, I'm not sure any more. He also said that he likes that his guy friends and me are two separate aspects of his life. He likes that we know each other, and when we are together we have fun, but he doesn't want my relationship with them go much further or become better than that. It just kinda worries me b/c maybe this means that things aren't serious? However it just could be that we are very independent people usually, and one or two days out of the week apart is good for us. And also, it's not like i'd want to be the only girl out with a bunch of his friends.

Oh and when he does go out of town for the week, we are usually together the entire weekend after, especially when he is going to be out of town the week after.

So this is kinda me rambling, but I'm seriously confused as to how I should think about this. ANy thoughts?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
In reply to: dusty6_99
Fri, 07-23-2004 - 9:24pm
ok lets get this straight you are concerned about a guy who wants his

friends and he to spend time together apart from you, kinda like a

time out?

well lets turn the mirror around do you invite him to go everywhere

with you? do you ask him to do everything with just him?

everything you do he's right there with you?

if you ask me i think that you are being the clingy/jealous type

when it comes time for he and his buddies to spend some "guy time" together

so why mess with something that i see absolutly NOTHING wrong with?

i had a b/f that would spend EVERY staturday night with his best buds,

and he still does as far as i know, but i NEVER got to suspicios that i

would think just because he didnt want arm baggage for a night that

something was wrong!

so just RELAX!! theres probrobly NOTHING going on.

he JUST WANTS SOME ALONE TIME.

theres my .2!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2004
In reply to: dusty6_99
Fri, 07-23-2004 - 10:56pm
You are very right. Truthfully, the first thing I thought was that it was totally fine and normal to spend time apart. I think my problem came when I told a friend about it, and she reacted totally differently. So it made me think that maybe i was being too light on the issue, so I made it bigger than it needed to be. I'm actually taking advantage of it and having some alone time, which was much needed much to my surprise :).

Thanks again