Need a Push into the Water
Find a Conversation
| Fri, 09-01-2006 - 6:24pm |
The title refers to needing a push, so here's the situation.
A little over a year ago, I met a guy through OLD. We emailed, talked, and went on two nice dates, but the timing was horrible as my ex-bf had contacted me about getting back together around this same time. I was really torn about whether to keep dating the new guy (B), or give it a try with my ex-bf. (Hindsight is 20/20 and of course I realize now I wasn't ready to be dating in the first place since I clearly wasn't over my ex.) To sum it up, I decided to try again with my ex, and told B that I was sorry, I had enjoyed being with him, but was not able to date right now. B told me he appreciated my honesty, and we went our separate ways. A few months later, my ex and I ended our relationship for good. I did date someone casually a few months after that, but overall I haven't dated much at all.
Anyway, as it turns out, B and I have some friends in common, which we didn't realize at the time we were dating originally. We ended up reconnecting at a party last month. It was great to see him, I had a lot of fun talking with him, and he seemed happy to see me too. He has so many qualities I really like, and my only concern is that I didn't feel a lot of chemistry last year (we were not physical at all). To be fair, last year I think it might have been impossible to feel anything with him while my ex was constantly calling, texting, and emailing. At the party this year, I felt happy to be near him. Since the party, we've been emailing (he initiated), and saw each other at a common event and chatted. He is definitely single.
Now, he is a fairly shy guy, and I have already rejected him once. So I think if there is a move to be made, it's mine. Friends have suggested that I just ask him out for a drink, but I am having a hard time taking this leap. If I am rejected, I can live with that. I am more terrified that we might go out on a few dates, and what if it doesn't work? Then I'll feel like I somehow led him on twice. I am feeling gunshy, like I don't want to hurt anyone or be hurt - but then again, he crosses my mind daily.
Thanks for listening, and any advice (or push) is appreciated.

He's a big boy ;-), he can make his own decision about whether he wants to try again or not! No harm in asking, IMO. It's up to him to take the risk, or not.
Sheri
Definitely think you should ask him out.
I just wanted to say thanks for all the encouragement! Taking risks is absolutely necessary in life.
So I did jump in, and sent the email a few days ago asking him for a drink, but haven't heard back yet. We have been writing each other about every 3 days, and I am thinking at this point that the answer won't be positive. I am expecting some sort of answer from him though, since we're bound to see each other again at some point, and he just seems like a straighforward kind of guy.
But no matter what happens, I am glad I took the chance!