need some advice
Find a Conversation
need some advice
| Sun, 04-18-2004 - 3:17pm |
last month my boyfriend left me and all he said was that he needed time to think about what he wanted. well then he tells me that i was being a bitch and that i need to change and start trusting him. he would call and ask if i was doing ok and ask if i was seeing anyone. and i am not. we have 2 children together and he comes almost every friday to get our daughter. he is not my son's real dad but my son knows him as his dad. he keeps a good relationship with him though. the thing is, i can't seem to get over him. one day he says that he wants to think about working it out and then the next day he says that he just wants to be single. i was hospitalized for dehydration and depression over this and now i am on medication. it keeps me going but i still miss him. he was here on friday to see the kids and he said that he will give me an answer about us on friday. should i keep waiting on him or what? he called sunday and was supposed to get the kids but he was sick so he said he wasn't coming. but we talked and he said that he was still thinking about us and it looks good. but i don't want to get my hopes up. he says that if he comes back he wants to be able to go when he wants to go. which i don't mind but the thing is that when he would go before he wouldn't come home. he said that he never cheated and i know that he has slept with women now that we aren't together and i am trying really hard not to let that get to me. but i just feel that if he comes home and wants to go out with his friends that he will be out with these "girl" friends. i just want us to be a family again. should i go for it if he says yes or what? i don't want to be hurt again....please...i need advice.

It's hard to get over someone, period. I think your pain is healthy and natural...you'd be getting over this guy quicker if you never saw him, but with the kids the mourning process is dragged out. If you give him the option to come back, worse, to come back with an open door policy, you're setting yourself up for even MORE heartache.
You DESERVE to have a guy who thinks you're a princess and who treats you like a queen. You are not the scullery maid that he can discard on a whim!!
What you need to do is a. toughen up around him and b. develop a business relationship with him. You need to NOT see him, not talk to him...communicate via email what you have to about the kids and that's IT. Don't be there when he comes to pick up the kids and when he drops them off. That's just putting yourself out there, 'in case'. DOn't do that to yourself.
Good luck.