Need some opinions...
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Need some opinions...
| Mon, 08-22-2005 - 7:45pm |
Okay, to start with, I have a male best friend, Jason - who is not gay =). We have been friends for about seven years. He used to have feelings for me, but it was mutually decided that we would be friends and nothing more. I also have a boyfriend, Mike, who cannot stand my best friend. Jason is in the army, so he comes down on leave about every six months, so I of course want to hang out with him while he is here, especially since he leaves for Iraq in two weeks. This is where Mike has issues. Every time Jason is in town, Mike and I fight. It's because I want to spend time with Jason, and I'll go out and stay out later with him (I'm not a night owl and I don't like going out real late with Mike). (I've never been out later than one o'clock with Jason by the way.) Mike turns into a jealous and possessive person when Jason is around, and he thinks he is entitled to act this way because of Jason. Mike refuses to go and hang out with me and Jason, but then demands to know where I went and when I got home, then he gets mad and starts a fight if he does not like my answers. Is my boyfriend right to get mad at me for staying out late with my male best friend? Is it wrong to have a male best friend? I don't see anything wrong with it because I have no romantic feelings for Jason. I wouldn't mind if a guy could help me out as well as all of you ladies.
Have a good one!
Have a good one!

Does your bf know that Jason had feelings for you in the past? Does he fear that he might still have them? If he does, then perhaps that is what is making him feel this way.
My situation is the same but the other way. I get insecure about my bf's best friend who is a girl, and HE used to like this girl several years ago but she didn't, and they remained the best of friends. I have never met this girl, so that makes it worse.
Has your bf met Jason?
If not, they should meet.
It is good that you invite your bf too. Why do you think he refuses to accompany you?
Do you think that you could be a little sensitive to your boyfriend's feelings and not stay out that late? Would he feel better then?
Is your bf insecure about your love for him? Perhaps you need to reassure him a lot more.
Does he have trouble trusting you in other scenarios as well, or is it just when it comes to your friend? Does he give you that independence and space in other areas? Or is he normally this possessive.
Having fights is very emotionally draining. I have been through that. It's really not necessary.
I think you both just need to understand each other better here, and he definitely needs to trust you. A little compromise, on both your parts could also be necessary.
All the Best. I feel for you. Hope you both resolve this situation and get it out of the way.