Need some suggestions/advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2005
Need some suggestions/advice
3
Tue, 07-17-2007 - 3:14pm

A little background: I am recently divorced after being with the same man for 20 years, and I know the "rules" of dating are a lot different than they were when I was younger, so I wanted to hear how you handle these situations. I'm 36 if that matters at all.

--Is it appropriate for a woman to keep condoms? I know that sounds like a very stupid quetion, but what I mean is...will the guy I am dating think it's wrong for me to have them if & when we become intimate?

--How long do you usually date a guy before bringing up exclusivity? I know it varies by person, but what time frame after dating on a weekly basis would you expect that he wouldn't be dating other women?

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2005
Tue, 07-17-2007 - 4:32pm

--Is it appropriate for a woman to keep condoms? I know that sounds like a very stupid quetion, but what I mean is...will the guy I am dating think it's wrong for me to have them if & when we become intimate?


My personal thought is, who cares what he thinks of you if you have condoms on you?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-1999
Tue, 07-17-2007 - 6:43pm

--Is it appropriate for a woman to keep condoms? I know that sounds like a very stupid quetion, but what I mean is...will the guy I am dating think it's wrong for me to have them if & when we become intimate?

There's nothing wrong with a woman wanting to make sure she is safe these days. A guy is just going to think that you are a responsible lady if you have them along with you.

--How long do you usually date a guy before bringing up exclusivity? I know it varies by person, but what time frame after dating on a weekly basis would you expect that he wouldn't be dating other women?

Unless you were friends with the guy before, I'd probably give it at least a few weeks before bringing up the topic. If he doesn't want to be exclusive after two months of dating, then I would start to worry at that point. I would make the end of the third month, the absolute cut off point for which you should wait. If a guy isn't willing to be exclusive by then, he never will be, and it's time to move on.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Tue, 07-17-2007 - 6:57pm

"Is it appropriate for a woman to keep condoms?"--> yes.

"How long do you usually date a guy before bringing up exclusivity?"-->if the guy doensn't bring it up within a couple of months, then you might want to bring it up yourself.