Need women's point of view - please...
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Need women's point of view - please...
| Wed, 04-07-2004 - 3:58pm |
I guess this is a known issue... but I really don't know what to do...
Last year I finally got the opportunity to date the girl that I was attracted from a while ago... and everything was going perfect, we would talk on the phone, watch movies, go to our favorite place and talk for hours, meet my/her friends... even though we both were not ready for a committed relationship we were attracted to each other and felt pretty comfortable. I hadn't dated anyone for a while before her, but she got me good y'all... I didn't feel that way in a long time. We actually never "did it" because I really respected her and I was attracted to her mind as well as her body, I'm kinda old fashion, and have no regrets about it though.
Suddenly and without warning everything changed, there was a weekend in which she didn't call at all... and then she was in a car wreck the next monday and I didn't find out but until late that day, via a mutual friend. The next day I went to her house... I could tell that she wasn't thrilled to see me, at all. I explained to her that I wasn't upset she didn't call me but that I was more concerned about her safety... I guess that didn't mean anything... Since then things started going downhill, no phone calls, we barely saw each other, it got to a point where I would have to practically follow her just to say hello. I decided to express her how I felt, she was going thru some rough times at home, her grandma was diagnosed with cancer and her health was deteriorating rapidly, and her parents move back to their house where she lived, and it's a known fact that she doesn't get along with them ...and then the car. So I decided to give her some breathing room, and wrote her a letter, gave it to her and stop seeing her for a while. She never replied to that letter nor she ever called, until Christmas when I sent her a christmas card and she emailed me back saying that she was happy to have news about me, but I didn't see her right away, it was until valentine's day when I sent her a card via regular mail, and then called her on her cell phone telling her that I missed her and that I wanted to hear her voice and asked her to call me back. There was no such call, the following week I finally went to see her but she acted like there was no V-card or voice mail at all... but she was happy to see me. I didn't mentioned anything because there was a lot of people and we had no opportunity to talk... Since then we have seen each other every week, although we definetly don't talk like in the beginning, it seems that I have to pretend like we never had anything and there's a black hole where we cannot remember the things we said or did, and she's always in a rush since she has to work odd hours to keep with her bills and we never seem to catch a break, we email but nothing special... and sometimes I get mixed signals like yesterday when I told her a piece of good news and she gave me a big hug, but eventually when we got to her car she just shut the door and drove off... I can take a hint... I know that probably she doesn't want me in her life again, but is she just waiting for me to ask "what happened?"... or is she avoiding me so we will not talk about it?... There was no apparent reason for the break up, it just happened, she would not communicate, at all. We never had an argument, we never went mad, she even said that I was someone special for her... I know, just words. I know that when she had the car wreck I should've called first instead of just pop-in at her house, but... is it too bad to be concerned about someone you care about?... why didn't she let me know what happened?... All I want is to know how she feels... but I don't know if I'll even get a straight answer, it's eating me inside... Her birthday is coming and even after everything that has happened, I'm planning something special... I know that she may slap me on the face again, I'm willing to take the risk... question is, should I?... she's a good friend... and there's a lot of people that critize her because they think she's weird... they never gave her a chance to show them who she really is, and they don't know her the way I do... and that really bothers me... I have thought about it over and over, it's not just physical, it's emotional, too. She has a lot of good qualities that I look for in a woman, and I know we have things in common. Why should I just let it die?... Please ladies... tell me what you think. Is it too bad that I'm a man like this? Did I push her too hard? Why is she acting like nothing ever happened? I'm starting to doubt myself... Thank you.
Last year I finally got the opportunity to date the girl that I was attracted from a while ago... and everything was going perfect, we would talk on the phone, watch movies, go to our favorite place and talk for hours, meet my/her friends... even though we both were not ready for a committed relationship we were attracted to each other and felt pretty comfortable. I hadn't dated anyone for a while before her, but she got me good y'all... I didn't feel that way in a long time. We actually never "did it" because I really respected her and I was attracted to her mind as well as her body, I'm kinda old fashion, and have no regrets about it though.
Suddenly and without warning everything changed, there was a weekend in which she didn't call at all... and then she was in a car wreck the next monday and I didn't find out but until late that day, via a mutual friend. The next day I went to her house... I could tell that she wasn't thrilled to see me, at all. I explained to her that I wasn't upset she didn't call me but that I was more concerned about her safety... I guess that didn't mean anything... Since then things started going downhill, no phone calls, we barely saw each other, it got to a point where I would have to practically follow her just to say hello. I decided to express her how I felt, she was going thru some rough times at home, her grandma was diagnosed with cancer and her health was deteriorating rapidly, and her parents move back to their house where she lived, and it's a known fact that she doesn't get along with them ...and then the car. So I decided to give her some breathing room, and wrote her a letter, gave it to her and stop seeing her for a while. She never replied to that letter nor she ever called, until Christmas when I sent her a christmas card and she emailed me back saying that she was happy to have news about me, but I didn't see her right away, it was until valentine's day when I sent her a card via regular mail, and then called her on her cell phone telling her that I missed her and that I wanted to hear her voice and asked her to call me back. There was no such call, the following week I finally went to see her but she acted like there was no V-card or voice mail at all... but she was happy to see me. I didn't mentioned anything because there was a lot of people and we had no opportunity to talk... Since then we have seen each other every week, although we definetly don't talk like in the beginning, it seems that I have to pretend like we never had anything and there's a black hole where we cannot remember the things we said or did, and she's always in a rush since she has to work odd hours to keep with her bills and we never seem to catch a break, we email but nothing special... and sometimes I get mixed signals like yesterday when I told her a piece of good news and she gave me a big hug, but eventually when we got to her car she just shut the door and drove off... I can take a hint... I know that probably she doesn't want me in her life again, but is she just waiting for me to ask "what happened?"... or is she avoiding me so we will not talk about it?... There was no apparent reason for the break up, it just happened, she would not communicate, at all. We never had an argument, we never went mad, she even said that I was someone special for her... I know, just words. I know that when she had the car wreck I should've called first instead of just pop-in at her house, but... is it too bad to be concerned about someone you care about?... why didn't she let me know what happened?... All I want is to know how she feels... but I don't know if I'll even get a straight answer, it's eating me inside... Her birthday is coming and even after everything that has happened, I'm planning something special... I know that she may slap me on the face again, I'm willing to take the risk... question is, should I?... she's a good friend... and there's a lot of people that critize her because they think she's weird... they never gave her a chance to show them who she really is, and they don't know her the way I do... and that really bothers me... I have thought about it over and over, it's not just physical, it's emotional, too. She has a lot of good qualities that I look for in a woman, and I know we have things in common. Why should I just let it die?... Please ladies... tell me what you think. Is it too bad that I'm a man like this? Did I push her too hard? Why is she acting like nothing ever happened? I'm starting to doubt myself... Thank you.

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