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| Fri, 10-01-2004 - 9:41am |
It is about my ex-boyfriend of 3 1/2 years of course. We seemed happy and talked of a future all the time, alwats together BUT we broke up a couple months ago. We split up because he is always breaking up with me. I would say twice we should have but the others could have been fixed with a conversation but we don't talk about things really. he just tells me it is over. We talked of marriage too, we are old enough, have our own homes and looked at rings one time but he never asked. I would ask why not and he would not answer. he doesn't answer questions he does not like. My first question is why would he not ask em after being with me for 3 1/2 years, the first year was hard for us but why not the last year together, does it mean that he was scared or not ready but then why talk about it all the time, more then I. My other question is he wanst to try again and he is saying everything right, everything a gilr would want to hear. There is another post that I saw similar to what i am asking and saw a reply about anyoone can say anthing so it makes me think of actions. I don't feel his actions are matching with his speech. He waits awhiel to reply to me, wouldn't you find 5 seconds to get back to the gilr you love, he says I need to figure out if I could eb with again there is nothing he can do and I somewhat agree but how do you build security in them if they are not around to help, right? We are not together I don't know what he does. I don't know what to do.
Should I take his not fighting for me as a sign that he does not love me as I would hope as I would. I would fight for him so much when we were not together but he just doesn't. he may leave a loving message or email but that is it. If during our three years together he wouold always break up with me should I take it as asign he always will or that maybe I am not the one for him even though he says I am? he says he will never leave me agai, he promises and that he dealt with that anger so he won't do that anymore, should I believe him? Just three weeks ago in one weekend he told me that he didn't see how we would work, nothing has chnaged then two days later he said sorry and he wants a life with me then the next day he said it probably would not work but now he is saying everything right. Does he love me but not the right way, would he leave agin since that is our past. He is approaching 30, is this how a 30 year old would act?
I am looking for any advice because it interferes with everything in my life. It is hard to work, to concentrate, I get upset and wonder why he did not call. He says he can't talk and be open about his daily life because it is painful since wemay not be together and I agree but if you want someone isn't that a necessity. I always felt inside that he did not love me the same as I for him. Would he chnage? Would he stay the same? Wouldn't you expect him to "fight" more? Am I not what i thought I was to him? he is always busy to respond but why is that everyone else like may parents or ex boyfriend of even myyself can find 10 seconds in a workday but he can't. I know he is busy but wouldn't the one be the nost important thing in your life or I am just living in a fairy tale world.
I hope you can help and I hope I didn't write too much on this board. Thank you ladies!!!
Signed,
imixedup

I am sorry to post again but I was really looking for some advice. I really don't know how to take this and he says he acres and would be with me but I still feel the way I did in the message I posted.
Thanks
My favorite is when they blame you for leaving because they didnt care for you in the right way. I may never hear from him again but if I do that if he calls I know what he will say, he will say I am the screwed up one, I am the one wholost, I never cared or who do I think I am for saying that. I just dont get how they can be successful at work and in life and not be some guy out of highschool where thya hve some experinece and have that mentality.