new date has cold feet

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2007
new date has cold feet
11
Mon, 07-30-2007 - 9:41pm

I recently dated a guy for a month and all was going well from my perspective. It was relaxed and we met usually once a week. However the week after we had sex he freaked out, stopped even hugging me, and when I asked, said he had cold feet and chronicled all the ways I irritated him. He wanted to leave his options open though, and said why don't we be friends after a break of a month and see if anything happens. I left thinking it was over, and for the better, but then he contacted me the very next day and apologized. A week later he called because he was lonely and wanted to go out. Then he gave me some nice chocolates...what the heck? He has already broken his own 'no contact for a month' rule, but I don't know if he considers me on probation or if he regrets everything, and I am not sure I care. I still have feelings for him, but don't want to be his fall back option.

Has anyone had experience with this? Should I see it as a sign of more bad behavior to come, or forgive him for having a bad moment? He really did come up with a long and painful list of my faults that night and it will be hard to forget all those comments. There have been other signs too that he lacks social skills and has a hard time negotiating the stress of being around another person, particularly a woman. But he does have his attractions as well... Confused! Torn!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Mon, 08-06-2007 - 10:21pm
This is totally a sign of bad behavior and confusion on his part.
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