New guy, need advice PLEASE!!
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| Tue, 06-06-2006 - 8:43am |
Ok, I've been seeing this guy for the last couple weekends. He's my personal trainer from the gym and he use to hand out with my brother in highschool. We've known eachother for almost 2 years but feelings didn't develop until this past year. I found out from others that he has been wanting to ask me out since Christmas he just never got up the nerve. We started chatting through text messaging for 2 weeks and then we set up a time to go mini golfing. We had a good time and then went back to his house and just talked. The second time he took me out to dinner on a friday night and then we went to his house to watch a couple movies and the following evening we went bowling with a couple of friends from the gym. We texted back and for almost every day and I see him almost everday at the gym. After this weekends date he texted me telling me that he couldn't stop thinking about me b/c he was so excited after just hanging out with me. It was so sweet of him and I told him I felt the same. The night after that we went bowling with friends but I never brought that conversation up and I don't know if I should of. We hung out like a group of friends and I wasn't sure if I should of paid more attention to him.
I'm new to this whole dating thing and I'm unsure of how things should work. We haven't kissed yet b/c I just don't know when it's the right time. I mean I did the whole kiss on the cheak/lip after our second date but I'm not sure how to initiate it again. I also don't know if it's too soon to bring up what's going on between us. Do I mention that I found out from my brother that he's been wanting to ask me out for months( he told my brother). The situation is kind of weird b/c he's been my personal trainer for over a year and now we've been seeing eachother for the past couple weekends. I'm not use to this so I feel weird that he keeps taking me out and paying for everthing.
I guess my questions are:
1.) Do you think he's moving to fast by the comment he texted me? I don't think he is but hey I've never dated before.
2.) Should I bring up the subject of what he said about how he couldn't stop thinking about me, and if so How?
3) Do I even bring up what's going on b/w us or just let it happen, I think he knows I'm not just hanging out with him as a friend, but I'm not sure.
Any other advice would be appreciated.

Personally, I wouldn't think a guy has "moved too fast" simply by saying he is interested in you and excited about you. That's what almost every woman longs to hear from a man she's dating!!
But I think you probably should sign up with a different personal trainer. You've just started dating him and there's still the possibility that things won't work out (I'm certainly not wishing that on you... it's just reality). So you don't want to be in an uncomfortable position down the road. Plus, it just seems like it should be some sort of violation of HIS employment to be dating a client.
At any rate, I don't think you need to mention his comment that he couldn't stop thinking about you. What would be the purpose of reminding him of that? If you're trying to nudge the romance along, I don't think you need to do that. I'm sure he knows how he feels and it sounds like he's fully capable of pursuing you on his own.
But if he says something else that make you uneasy because it seems to be too much too soon, I would let him know you aren't comfortable with that sort of talk, yet, because you're just getting to know each other.
But overall, I think you need to RELAX. Try not to analyze and fret over every step. Have a good time dating him. There's no rush to get physical or do anything until you feel ready to do it. Good luck!
I think whether or not he's moving too fast depends on how you feel. If you feel flattered and enjoy getting these sorts of messages, why say anything other than "thanks for your message. I really appreciate it"? No need to put him on the spot or make him feel defensive by bringing up what he's said to others about his interest in you.
It doesn't sound like he just thinks of you as a friend, but if there's any doubt, it's a good idea to broach the discussion just ask him, "so are we dating?"