new love while still attached

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2004
new love while still attached
5
Sun, 06-13-2004 - 12:04am
ok here is my story =) so, i am still involved in a very long term relationship, which i am in the process of ending as soon as our lease is up in a month, just recently at my brothers wedding, i was re connected with an old friend of his of which whom i have always been attracted too and had that certain "spark" if u will and massive amounts of sexual chemistry, well he knows all about my situation, and we talked on the phone after the wedding, which led to us hanging out, and the last two weeks we talk about 4 times a day and try to see each other vey often....I feel bad for doing this while still technically involved with the other guy, but i cant stop thinking about the old friend of my brothers and the chemistry is like ive never felt before...is it wrong to possibly be falling for this man now, should i put things on hold untill i have officially moved out from my boyfriends place? thanks in advance!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2003
Sun, 06-13-2004 - 10:43am
You hold the answer but it seems that you need re-assurance that you're doing the right thing. You say you feel guilty for initiating a new relationship while still in a LTR and you ask if you should end the LTR and move out before jumping totally in the arms of the new guy. What do you want to do? It appears that the new guy and you are bonded by sexuality and that's the motive for both of you. You don't say if you have been already involved with the new guy beside hanging out and talking. However, your post leads to beleive that you're already with this new guy. If you want total freedom to do what you please then move out now OR if you wanna wait the month or so then jum and have an affair. It all depends on your character and ways of life.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2004
Wed, 06-16-2004 - 2:51pm
Is the guy you areliving with aware that your relationship is coming to an end?
Lilypie Baby Days

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2004
Wed, 06-23-2004 - 3:51am
Well, Yes the live in boyfriend does know, Ive been completely honest with him about how unhappy i am with him etc....all that is left is for me to move out. Just that I feel weird about dating anyone else or even just seeing him on a friendship lvl while im living still with the old BF.....and no it hasn't been sexual with the new guy, ive knowen him for about 13 years off and on, and its more of an emotional thing than anything else, hes so wonderful to me and we get along so well and have the chemistry and spark which i havent felt well, ever really with anyone....so i guess im jst wondering would it be very wrong to go to dinner with him sometimes and hang out untill next month when i move out of where im at now??
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2003
Wed, 06-23-2004 - 8:57am
I firmly believe that you should never feel bad for having feelings. It is how you act on them that makes all the difference. I think you should tell this new guy that you need to have some closure with the old boyfriend before you jump into anything else. If really wants to be with you then he will wait.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2004
Wed, 06-23-2004 - 9:25am
Well if you are open and honest to everyone involved, I guess its OK.
Lilypie Baby Days