New therapy technique really works!
Find a Conversation
| Mon, 03-19-2007 - 4:20pm |
Hello everyone. Just joined. I guess I should introduce myself. My name is Julie, I'm 22, college student, been married about a year, DH is 28 owns a business (and now takes very good care of me), and I live in Ottawa, Ontario. I've been lurking this board off and on for awhile now. I've finally decided to post because some of the problems I hear on this board are the same problems I used to have, and about 6 months ago I found the PERFECT solution to just about ANY guy problem, sex included. At least it solved all my guy problems, anyways. So I guess I should help out and pass it along.
I found out about it from a sex therapist here in Ottawa, Dr. Tanya Larisse. I tried her after trying several others who didn't work at all. I wasn't really looking for a sex therapist, really I needed a marriage therapist but when I insisted we needed to see a marriage counselor my DH refused, insisting that instead I see a sex therapist alone because he said that's all the problem was, that I didn't know how to enjoy sex. At first I was very leery of trying her. Two of my previous therapists had even heard of her and specifically warned me about her. They said she was 'on the fringe' of their speciality, very strange and 'kooky', and believed that 'sex toys' could solve everything. They both made her out to be like some kind of nutty professor. Boy were they wrong!
From the moment I walked in her office I could tell she was very professional, although I have to admit that when she started introducing me to her system I thought it was rather strange, even a little morbid. But as she explained everything in detail, walked me through all the steps, and answered all my questions, I began to really think about it. She sounded so knowledgable and she told me it was a new program being tried by some of the new "feminist" sex therapists, as she called them, and that it was proving so successful that she was recently asked to write a book about it. She even gave me this cute little brochure to take home and read. So I ended up giving it a try. And it really works!
I don't want to go into all the details, but basically here's how it works. The program does use 'sex toys', but that's not really what it's all about. It's basically about learning to take control of your relationship in every aspect, from the housework to the finances to the bedroom, and learning how to enjoy sex. The way you do this is by learning to control the sexual side of your relationship completely and in this way you are able to also control your man completely.
Basically you have to get your DH into one of these expensive chastity belts, and you have to learn how to pleasure yourself, with or without a device. The chastity belt costs a lot because it has to be the kind he really can't slip out of or cut, and it has to be healthy and hygenic, so he can stay in it all the time unlike the cheap ones. Dr. Larisse told me the one she gave me needed 'special engineering' to be broke. And I found that I liked to use a device for myself, I liked this vibrator she recommended called the 'super rabbit'.
Getting my man to wear it was relatively easy for me, but if you find it difficult to convince him, all you have to do get him to try in once, and once he's locked he absolutely can't get out unless he gets the keys, and this one needed 3 keys to unlock which you were supposed to hide in 3 different spots. All I had to do was tell him that the sex therapy was his idea and this is what the therapist recommended. He eventually agreed and that's when our whole relationship started getting better and better.
For example, housework. He used to do nothing, I'd have to do everything, but now he gladly does it all just because he wants to have sex with me. He used to play video games adn surf porn, now he devotes all his attention to me. And as far as him controlling me, that is all over now. I have total control of the finances and actually give him an allowance! It's great! But perhaps the best thing of all is that it has improved our sex life a lot.
That's why he wanted me to see a sex therapist instead of a marriage counselor. He said the whole problem was that I never wanted to have sex. This was true. I just wasn't attracted to him sexually and he didn't know how to turn me on. And he wanted to have sex like EVERY DAY! He also liked to make me feel guilty for not wanting to have sex with him because as a Christian, I was waiting until marriage to have sex and I made him wait 2 and a 1/2 years, so now that we were finally married I guess he thought that meant I had to let him have sex with me whenever he wanted. He said I teased him for years and now it was his turn. This was true, I've always liked teasing guys and as I couldn't do anything with him when we dated I ended up teasing him all the time, even worse than I did with other guys because it could get more intimate. But to be honest, I don't find DH that physically attractive and I just wasn't that interested in having sex with him, even after we were married. He just didn't turn me on. I think he got it maybe 4 times our first year of marriage. He blamed me for getting him all excited and then not letting him have his way with me. Well, I didn't mean for that to happen, it's just that I wanted to have sex, so I'd engage him in foreplay and try to get BOTH of us horny, but although I got him so horny he was mad with desire, I would never get horny myself and I ended up not being able to continue. This would piss him off and he'd masturbate right in front of me. This was my pet peeve as I found it rather gross and very disrespectful to me, and I felt that now that we were married he shouldn't be doing that but should instead be trying to learn how to get me in the mood so we could have sex TOGETHER. I bitched about it but he said he couldn't help himself and that it was the only way to relieve himself.
Well, Dr. Larisse's program and the 'toys' took care of all that. First, I learned how to pleasure myself with the 'rabbit' so that I could at least have satisfying sex solo and not be dependent on him for that. Then, the chastity belt took care of his masturbation problem and forced him to learn how to turn me on, because if he didn't, he couldn't get any relief. He has now taken the time to learn what I like in bed, and I don't have to watch him sitting there playing with himself.
Now he is the perfect husband, gives me anything I want, even knows how to satisfy me sexually now, and I don't even have to have sex with him! By the time of his scheduled releases, he's so horny he's about to burst, and all I have to do is stroke him a little bit with my fingers, and that's it. And he's so COMPLETELY satisfied and happy with that, believe me. Then we clean up and I lock him back up and he's good for weeks. Although I have to unlock him sometimes when he becomes so frustrated I think he's gonna start breaking things, I've slowly worked on his endurance and self-control, and have gotten it to the point where I only have to unlock him about every 2 months now. And in the meantime he's doing anything I ask, I'm in total control, we are BOTH satisfying me sexually, and it's even fun! I mean, I hate to admit it, but I've always loved to tease the guys since I was about 13, I guess I just love the attention, but I never imagined marriage could be like this, that teasing your own husband could be even more fun than teasing a date. Now, whenever I touch or tickle him, it affects him 10 times as much. I can drive him absolutely crazy just by stroking the inside of his thigh with my finger. I also use my 'rabbit' in front of him all the time, wear sexy clothes around him constantly (with the keys on my ankle bracelets or a necklace), and get to playfully negotiate with him about when his next release will be. The sexual tension he feels is absolutely incredible and so is the power I have. It's awesome!
Well, at any rate, if any of you are having ANY problems at all with your boyfriends or husbands, I recommend trying this new approach. The only source for it I could find online is a web page version of Dr. Larisse's brochure. Her receptionist posted it in order to practice her web writing skills, so I can't guarantee the quality or if she's changed it. I think there's a dumb link on your mouse pointer, she was just playing around I guess, but anyways that outlines the whole program. Just try it and you'll see. I talked to her receptionist who did the web page and she said that to be honest, she thought the whole idea was stupid but that because all the clients said it worked, she decided to try it and she loved it and now really believes in it, not just because she works there.
Here is the web page: http://www.angelfire.com/id2/Hawaii/MaleCh.html
and here is a chastity belt I found on the web which is like my DH’s: http://www.mybdsm.com/pages/device/cd1.html

Hello. I'm a married male that found your blog posting intriguing. It's good to hear from a female perspective about this theory of controlling your man. I think you have it figured out and are on the right track. Just reading about the device and the control you have makes me want to be a better man if I were in such a situation.
I would definitely try it, but I don't think I could actually handle being "locked" up for very long. I simply can't go a single day without a release...I'm not sure what I'd do for longer than that.
I'd like to discuss this issue with you further, please write back or email me. Thank you.