New years eve

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2006
New years eve
2
Sat, 12-23-2006 - 5:38pm
I posted this on another board, but haven't heard anything - just wondering!
I've been casually dating a younger guy who I have known forever, for about two months. Both of our schedules are pretty busy, so between that and the holidays, lately we haven't seen much of each other, but talk every few days. I asked him about a date for new years eve and he said that he was going to a party that he goes to each year. And he doesn't want to bring a date, or has not offered to anyway. We are not officially exclusive yet, so I know that I should not feel hurt that he does not want to spend the holiday with me, but how am I supposed to feel? We agreed to discuss it later, closer to New Years Eve. I should mention that the other day I was a little frustrated with things, and told him what I wanted from a relationship (he already knew anyway, because he has known me for so long), but I felt as if I was not fitting into his world and that maybe he should contact me if & when he felt I could fit into his life. He did not like that, and made quite an effort to not let me walk away. The new years eve conversation was before this, and I am afraid to ask again, because I didn't like the answer the first time and am afraid I will still feel hurt if the answer is the same. I know that we are not exclusive yet, but I am just not sure how to proceed? Or how to not feel hurt or jealous, if he does not want me to join him that night. Any ideas out there? Thanks!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
Sun, 12-24-2006 - 1:22pm

Since you state that you're casually dating, then you shouldn't expect anything from this guy. Even though you say you've known him forever, he doesn't seem that interested in being exclusive with you, or date you seriously. Two months are short to know if you want to be exclusive with someone. I'd would be wary of one thing: did he treat you like this before dating casually? OR is this a new behavior? If he changed the way he treats you, that's NOT a good thing.

I'd suggest to make plans plans of your own and go from there.If he calls to join you that's fine, but don't wait on him. You could be waitng for ever.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Sun, 12-24-2006 - 4:57pm
I would be hurt too if I were you. It seems that although you are not exclusive it may be where you want the relationship to go. It also seems that his buddies are taking priority right now. I know it would hurt to not spend new years with this guy, but given the way he is treating someone he is even casually dating (casual dates do attend parties with their guys) I would probably not want to spend ANY time with him. If you have an opportunity take in another party elsewhere and kiss this guy goodbye. He is not showing you respect that you are showing him.