NEWS!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2003
NEWS!
4
Mon, 07-05-2004 - 6:40pm
Hi, Wanted to let you know a few things that have happen since saturday. On saturday I went to stay in my boyfriend's home (as you remember on my postings "What do you thing about this), when he picked me up I introduced him to my mother (and her face was like she wanted to kill him ) just because I was staying over his house (as you may remember he lives in another state) so we have decided to at least stay in his house once a week so that we can get to know each other better. The weekend was fabulous it couldn't get any better. I share time with his family yesterday and they were pretty ice with me. And told me that I was the only girl he has introduce them to. On saturday night happened what I was trying to avoid for the moment (we made love), it was amazing and the morning after he treated me like a queen and let me know that Now he loves me more and that things are getting better and he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. He made a big breakfast, bought a dozen of roses for me. And we were seeing in to each other eyes and telling how good we feel and that this is love.


Unfortunaly when I got home today my mother had a big argument with me because I stayed in his house, she was telling me that I should be ashamed of what I did (stayed on his house)since I've only been dating him (both exclusively)for only three weeks.As soon as the argument ended I called my boyfriend to tell him that since I live under my mom's roof I can not stay over his house no more. Right now I'm looking for a job and want to find an apartment. When telling him this he told me that he didn't want to loose me, that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me and that in his heart he feels that I'm the women with wich he wants to spend the rest of his life and have a baby with and that this morning he asked me my ring size cause He wants to marry me. Since I told him that I can not longer stay in his house (wish makes things hard for us) he said that I'm already 33 years old and he doesn't think that I should make my desicions based on my mother so he asked me to spend the rest of my life with him and even proposed me to get married. This situation has me very confused, Because believe it or not I'm in love with this guy and KNOW that he's in love with his actions and words says it all. But we have only been dating for 3 weeks and previously talked on the phone for 2 weeks. I need some advice here PLEASE!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
In reply to: nuden70
Mon, 07-05-2004 - 6:56pm
Well not sure what your question is since you really didn't pose one.

What would I do if I were in your situation.

I would find a job and move out as soon as I could. While I lived under my mothers roof I wouldn't spend the night with him.

I also wouldn't marry him with only knowing him for a short time.

Since I don't know your "question" those are the only answers I am likely to give.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2003
In reply to: nuden70
Mon, 07-05-2004 - 7:21pm


My question actually is. I have never been in love like I am now. I have never being loved like I am now. And the situation of having my boyfriend living so far from me (almost two hours from me) and my mother doesn't let me stay over his house. And I'm already 33 years old and want to have a family of my own. That is something I really need since I have never had a family as well. I've been single for this long since I have avoid commitment I think and I haven't found a person who really makes me feel complete as my current boyfriend. I need avice in terms of if I should get marry or not. Since I'm a little bit afraid of the marriage thing I just talked to my boyfriend and told him to at least wait two months and he said it was ok since we have to make all the arrangements for the wedding. But he proposed me to move to his state in the meanwhile and that until I get a job he will provide me an apartment and give me one of his cars (THis I don't want to do it since I don't want to owe him nothing, if we were married things were different.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
In reply to: nuden70
Mon, 07-05-2004 - 7:26pm
My advice is that I would not marry him. I would not move to live by him or with him and depend on him for anything. If you want to move to his town, then find a job there, and an apartment and move there and continue to date him. 3 weeks is pure infactuation stage and although it could be "love" it could also fizzle in another 2 weeks. I would not become dependent on a man, be independent and stand on your own two feet. You can not be a good wife, if you cannot even be adult and independent enough to provide for yourself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
In reply to: nuden70
Thu, 07-08-2004 - 12:59pm
Ok, you've only known this guy for 5 weeks and he's proposing? That sends up warning signs all over. What's the rush?

And not to seem rude, but why are you living at home if you're 33? Did you just recently lose a job and were forced back home because you hadn't found a new one yet? Again, just wondering, not trying to be rude in any way.

You need to get back on your feet and be self-sufficient before comitting to any kind of relationship. Like Sally said, get your own place and go from there. You should not move for some guy (I speak from experience). If he's serious about a relationship with you he will respect you and quit rushing. He will support you in your decision to get established and on your own- and I don't mean financially support you.

Just sounds fishy to me that he's pushing for a wedding so soon. Find out what the motive is...

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