no communication....probably JNTI me?
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no communication....probably JNTI me?
| Fri, 11-12-2004 - 1:04pm |
I need some opinions on a communicaton problem and a new relationship. First of all, few questions. Do guy's typically slide into a relationship with someone without really talking about it? From what you read, guys aren't generally big talkers, especially about their feelings. But if there's no discussion, how can it go from dating to a relationship?
Here's a situation, let's say you start dating someone, and the first few dates are very nice, (no pressure from the guy to be sexual). Just dinner, conversation, some kissing, etc. Date 4 you have sex. So then 3 months go by, you're still dating regularly, getting to know about more about eachother, you've met his friends, you're still having sex, etc. The only thing lacking is not talking to eachother about the fact that you're dating or that it's developing into a relationship. So, do you just wait around for him to start talking about it, or do you bring it up, or do you assume it's a relationship, or do you assume both of you can still see other people or what?

It's important to be comfortable to talk about things like this with each other if you do want a relationship.
Good luck. Hope this helps.
Men
Start
It's so difficult for men basically to get in touch with their emotional needs,as I
believe the book,women are from venus,men from mars,really defines how different
men and women think. Women for most think with their heart,feelings,men being the hunters
think with their physical needs first,heart second. Since you've become intimate,be discreet but to the point,about your feelings for him,be honest. If he is feeling a special closeness,you're comfort level should allow you to ask if there's an exclusive
potential in your relationship. It may be a bit scary to bring this up,but I agree
with other ladies on this board. If he's seeing,and sleeping with others,please take health precautions dont run risk of sexually transmitted disease. I know you're
feeling passion for this guy,and sound like you're falling for him. Hope that this
works in your favor. Best wishes! Bellina
I've got to agree with everyone else--you can't assume just because you've been dating for a while that you are exclusive. I too thought my EX and I were exclusive, but I never talked to him about it. I just figured I was the only one he was dating...especially since we'd been together for over 8 momths. However, I do know that he limited our seeing each other to once a week, usually on a Saturday night and I never met any of his friends. He would call me a few times during the week, but NEVER on Friday or Sunday night. After a while I noticed his demeanor had changed and eventually he started talking about dating without any sex. Then one Wednesday night he e-mailed (yes e-mailed) me to say he was going to be pretty busy the weekend and didn't know if we could get together. All of his reasons were pretty weak--had to get together with friends, had to do taxes, blah blah blah. Turns out he had been seeing someone else all the other times he wasn't with me--which was pretty much the rest of the week. This surprised me a lot because we were having sex and I was sure that I was the only one he was dating. I walked away when I found out there was another woman.
The moral of the story is that you cannot assume that you two are exclusive and even if he SAYS you are, you need to see if his actions go along with his words. And like everyone else said, make sure he is being truthful because you really don't want to be one of many, with the possibility of contacting an STD. Good luck.
Hi there,
If you give someone something they want...they'll take it and will not have expectations. Basically, never assume. It takes courage to ask the hard questions...so find out what is going on for your own sake. And make sure he's being truthful...many guys lie to get what they want. So trust your instinct.
good luck:)
Another note: I haven't read the just not into me book...plan too. But one thing I find disturbing about the whole context...is why worry about what the guy is feeling/thinking/expecting...isn't it more important to figure out if you're just not into him?