No idea what to think about this guy

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
No idea what to think about this guy
7
Thu, 07-22-2004 - 12:33pm
Ok here's the situation. While out with one of my girlfriends I met this guy. She already knew him through work and introduced us. We spent several hours together as a group, me, him, my girl, his boy. We flirted mercilessly back and forth. I'm not shy, so I made it very clear I was interested. I thought he was reciprocating. At the end of the night we walked together to the parking lot, where we kissed several times. We had already exchanged numbers. He asked me about plans for upcoming weekend and we tentatively scheduled not so accidental meetings on 2 nights and planned to cement those later in the week. I called him on Weds. to see what was up. He acted thrilled to talk to me and continued the flirtiness. We both had plans with friends on Friday, so he said to call him on Friday to see if either of our plans had fallen through. They hadn't, so he said he was going to call me that night so that we could engineer an accidental meeting. Well, I'm a dufus so I dropped my cell phone in my drink that night and shorted it out He called, but I didn't get it until the next day when my phone dried out. After getting the message the next day I called him to explain what happened the night before. We laughed about it and agreed to keep the plans we had to run into each other on Sunday. He was going out of town overnight with his buddies on Sat. Well, Sunday comes and goes with no call or nothing. Like a nerd, I called him on Monday. They had gotten stuck out of town, and out of cell range until the wee hours Sunday night/Monday morning he said. He's off this week from work and was trying to wrap stuff up there so he could go. He double checked what number I was at and even made me give it to him again so that he could call me back in five minutes. I haven't heard from him since. While obsessing about this I realized that other than the night my phone went swimming, he hasn't actually called me at all. I have called him. Everytime I have talked to him he has seemed so happy to talk to me and has made jokes about the universe conspiring to keep us apart. He keeps telling me to call him. I joked that I felt like a stalker because I'm always calling him and he said for me to call him whenever I wanted. Yet I haven't heard from him. Thanks to the wet phone thing, I don't have his cell number anymore -- just his work number. So I couldn't call him this week if I wanted to. I'm thinking that may be a good thing. I guess what I don't get is that HE kissed me, keeps flirting with me, and keeps telling me either to call him or that he's gonna call me, but never actually calls. "I'll call you back in 5 minutes," was on Monday and this is Thursday -- possibly the longest five minutes ever. So what's going on? Is he just not that into me? That's fine if it is, just quit yanking my chain, so to speak. HELP!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Thu, 07-22-2004 - 12:57pm
nothing anyone says matters unless HE calls and he follows up and he behaves as if he's interested.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Thu, 07-22-2004 - 1:06pm
He could have been interested at the time, but isn't anymore. He could be super busy. He could have met another girl. WHO KNOWS?? Maybe he just wants you to pursue him, and gets his kicks from it. Whatever, the point is how long are you going to bother? Do you want to keep chasing him, or just walk and find someone who is decent enough to phone you?

I personally don't like games, so if I call and they don't call me, I give up and move on. If they're really interested in you they will make the effort.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
Thu, 07-22-2004 - 6:20pm

I agree with what the others have advised you.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
Thu, 07-22-2004 - 7:08pm
In my opinion, if someone is interested in you, they WILL call. Maybe he has a girlfriend. sometimes guys are just stupid and want to be chased but it dosent sound like it. Let him go.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2003
Thu, 07-22-2004 - 10:53pm
It's clear dear...he isn't interested enough but in flirting and receiving your calls. Perhaps this makes his ego bigger than his head! The plans never cement because he's not interetsed enough to do so. The "call you back in 5" is just an empty line. You acted very aggressive and "needy" since the beginning calling and calling him. Just delete his work number and move on. Learn form this experience and next time wait for the guy to call your even if you feel "you connceted".
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
Tue, 07-27-2004 - 5:04pm
Well at least I am keeping my sense of humor about all this. He finally called. Twice. As fate would have it I didn't get the calls since I wasn't home waiting on the phone to ring. In fact, when I saw the number on my caller id I thought it was someone else and called it back. Much to my suprise, guess who answered. He then proceeded to tell me that he wanted to see me -- that night. I had the distinct pleasure of telling him I had other plans, truthfully. Those plans were to veg out with some hamburger helper, but I didn't tell him that. He then asked if he could call me later, naming a specific time frame, would I be around? I said I might be. But guess what? He didn't call then either. I guess he thinks I'll just sit by the phone with baited breath should he want to talk to me. HA! Or that I will drop everything at the last minute to bask in the glory of his attentions. Let me say it again, HA! Thanks to the good, and honest, advice here I could care less if he ever calls or not. (At least, that's my story and I'm sticking to it, lol.) Though I do have to say in my own defense to the comment that I came on aggressive and needy, I would agree to aggressive but not needy. I am an aggressive girl. I've never had much patience or tolerance for dancing about. I refer a straightforward approach to things and find for the most part that directness on my part encourages others to deal with me in the same manner. This guy's song and dance has been a first for me, hence all the confusion. I called him because he told me to and I said I would. At the time I didn't think he was being anything other than straight with me. Now I know better and have adjusted accordingly. But once again thanks for giving it to me straight guys!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2004
Tue, 07-27-2004 - 11:15pm
Well, obviously, he's playing with your heart. If he said that he's going to call you in 5 minutes, then he would. But, the thing here is that he didn't even call you at all. So, my advice is that you should move on and forget about him. I know that will be hard for you, but all this takes time. Men (okay, not all of them) are like that, they like the idea of someone liking them and giving them attention and kisses and flirts, but in the end, all that they want is their egos to be boosted. And that's how they achieved it, by us, women, giving them our attention. They like it when they know that they have the attention of a woman, even if our feelings for them is not reciprocated by them. But then again, not all men are like that. So, good luck in moving on and may you find someone that treats you better.