Non-Mormon and Mormon relationship?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2004
Non-Mormon and Mormon relationship?
5
Sun, 09-19-2004 - 11:30pm
Hi,

I would like some input on dating someone of a different religion, specifically a Mormon. Does anyone here have any experience with this? I was wondering if it is really possible to have a long-term relationship with someone who is a Mormon if you are not one. I am not religious at all (and have no desire to be) but I did read up a little on this topic and there seems to be this general consensus that if you are not a Mormon but your significant other is, it will not work out. The reason stated was that eventually they will eventually regret not being able share his happiness, going to church, afterlife, etc. (of the religion)with you. Are there any non-mormons who have dated (long-term) or married a mormon, and your relationship is really strong or is not affected by religion? I'd really like your thoughts on the subject. Thanks!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2004
Sun, 09-19-2004 - 11:59pm
Hey Solana!

While I'm not Mormon myself nor have I ever dated anyone who was Mormon, I can only offer you secondhand advice.

My college roommate (male) dated a girl for about six months who was Mormon. She was his first love and they were considering marriage. She taught him a lot about her religion and told him that even though she was Mormon, she still wanted to date him. But later on in their relationship, she told him she wouldn't be able to continue the relationship unless he converted. He's very Christian, but far from even considering to convert to this religion, so they ended the relationship. He talked to me a lot about the religion and told me that he would never make that mistake again. While he didn't judge her based on her religion, it was a huge deal that he needed to be Mormon too.

I'm sure, like every religion, there are exceptions to the rules (where some families won't mind if you date outside your religion), but I've talked with a lot of Mormon students when I was in college and they all told me they could never marry someone who wasn't Mormon. If you're willing to convert, I think that's great, but be prepared now that a differing of religions is going to be a huge deal if you pursue a relationship this person.

I wish you the best of luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2004
Mon, 09-20-2004 - 9:44pm
Hi,

Thanks for your advice! Yeah, that's what I'm assuming, that even if it wasn't a big deal early on, eventually, it would present itself in a heart-breaking way. I'm sorry your roommate had to experience it first hand, and the fact that he wouldn't convert was the main reason they ended things. I've never really had that much experience with Mormons, so your story certainly helps!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2004
Tue, 09-21-2004 - 1:13am
I'm glad it did! He explained about the Mormon religion to me, but I'm not going to post about it here in case it's not true and I don't want to stereotype. He was really religious himself, so he definitely wasn't going to convert and neither was she. Just wasn't meant to be I guess! But he's found a great girl and they're talking about marriage, so he's lucky in that regard :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2003
Wed, 09-22-2004 - 8:52pm
I'm a mormon, but not practicing and if he has talked to you about not marrying you because your not a mormon, there's a pretty good chance he won't marry you. Mormons are very big with family and the way to see if he is willing to take a chance on this is he has introduced you to his parents. If he has, and they knew that you were not mormon, you will know because he would ask you about this (marrying anon mormon) right after he introduced you. If he hasn't, ask to be introduced to his family and see how that goes.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2004
Wed, 09-22-2004 - 10:04pm
Hi alicenjit,

Thanks for the advice. It's interesting to hear from a mormon what you think about this. Nothing is actually happening between us, because of certain circumstances. I was merely curious after meeting him, how others fare with this situation, if they'd been in one, and if it is possible to work out. The thing is, though, he has told me that it wouldn't be a problem if we were together, but I'm thinking that thought would only last for so long.