Is this normal?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2004
Is this normal?
3
Tue, 10-12-2004 - 9:25am
Hey everyone.

I haven't posted here in awhile, but it feels good to be back. My ex and I broke up last June after almost four years together. It was quite a battle trying to move on and start over again, and I don't think i would ever want to go through that hurt and pain again. I have since started dating someone new, he is so wonderful, and i couldn't be happier. things seem to be going so well. BUT- yesterday i heard from my ex and he told me all about his new girlfriend. he said she was cuter than me and went on to say just how wonderful she is, blah blah blah. and its not like i want him back or anything but that seriously shot a hole right through my stomach. it hurt so bad to hear him say that and i just dont want to feel this way. i keep thinking about them being together and i wish i wouldn't. is something wrong with me? is it normal to feel this way? shouldn't i be happy for him being i also have moved on and found someone i get along better with?

I just wondered what you all thought.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Tue, 10-12-2004 - 9:48am
Well, it sounds like you are well out of a relationship with such an immature jerk.

He probably heard you're dating someone else and wanted to get back at you because he's hurt and jealous.

If he has to make such an effort to attack you it's clear that it's nothing about you and all about him.

You're having exactly the reaction he was going for, but as for whether you're normal, well, yes.

Our tendency, alas, is to let hurtful comments, especially from someone who has (had) power over us get to it, versus positive comments that come our way don't have as great an impact.

,
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 10-12-2004 - 9:55am
golfinchick8...

Pianoguy thinks you should realize that the EX is "yesterday's garbage" and that any comments he makes in the future are just his way of 'chipping away at the grass' (I believe that's a golfing term, isn't it?).

What you need to concentrate on is making "par" with your new b/f. The course the 2 of you are pursuing is new and exciting. Focus on this instead of anything the EX expresses.

Besides...why let an old worn-out 'putter' get to you......now that you're playing with a brand new set of clubs?

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2004
Tue, 10-12-2004 - 11:07am
From your post, it sounds like there's a part of you that's not quite over your ex. I know it's hard to move on, especially if he initiated the break up. But calling you just to tell you about his new flame is so childish and immature, it's obvious he's just trying to make you jealous. Don't let it affect you, especially since it sounds like you've started dating a wonderful guy. Focus on that, and let the past go. If he calls you again, don't take the call.