Not able to let go
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Not able to let go
| Thu, 07-22-2004 - 9:31am |
I was dating a guy for about 4-1/2 months, not a real long time but I have to say I fell head over heals for him. I had never felt this way in my life (I'm 39) and I truly believed we were going to always be together. The last few weeks, I felt he was being inconsiderate of my feelings and things were a little suspicious. He travels once in a while with work and the last straw for me was his last trip. He was gone for a week and when he returned, I didn't even get a phone call. I had always contacted him on his cell phone and he had turned that off. I found out he went to party with his friends. My feelings were hurt and I broke it off with him. I felt that if he didn't care enough to even call after being out of town for a week, then he didn't care enough. The problem is I have not been able to let go (I have no idea why). I work with him, although I don't really see him (he's in the building in the back). When I do see him, I try to be friendly but he always gives me a real serious look and mumbles hi. I know he is seeing someone now, so why does he feel it necessary to act like he hates me? It's been three months since I broke it off, and still every time I see him I feel hurt and betrayed. He doesn't say anything to me unless I speak first. He's done stupid things (I feel just for digs) such as a few weeks ago I saw on my cell phone he had called (which I thought was weird) so I called him back and he acted like he didn't know who I was and said he had not called. Please help me to move past this and find happiness. (I've gotten to the point of thinking of quitting my job). Any advise is appreciated.

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So answer 1 question for me please - yes or no - Do you believe that he posted the invitation with the direct intent to hurt you or rub it in your face?
And for someone to get married so soon after dating someone is not a good sign for a good marriage and especially if she is house hopping.
I do feel bad for you that you have to work with him.
Even tho you broke off the relationship (good for you) it has to hurt that he was such a jerk to you. no matter who ends the relationship it is still hurtful for both parties.
You hurt his ego and he hurt your feelings.
I would now put all my energy into finding someone you will be good for you.
Life is wayyyyyyyyyyyy to short to put any energy and time toward romances that didn't work.
Next year you will be dating someone else and look back at this and wonder why the heck you gave this so much of your time.
Believe me I have been there many many times and you know men are like buses another one will be by soon.
You've got 3 erroneous issues here...
1. You expect ivillagers to react the way you want them to.
2. You don't want any negativity.
3. You assumed the boards are just for women.
Sorry to disappoint you...but all 3 of your issues don't hold water. Most people who post on a relationship board would like to have an opinion from an 'unbiased' person. Our opinions are formed through the words you use...and the situations you've been in. Sooo..
If you HONESTLY want understanding in your life, then give yourself permission to accept the ideas of others...irregardless of whether they happen to be what YOU want to hear.
Pianoguy
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