Not hip to his jive

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-23-2004
Not hip to his jive
3
Fri, 11-04-2005 - 11:56am
I don't know what is going on with my man. After we became official and decided to have an exclusive relationship he has been acting funny. Every time I call him it seems like he don't want to talk and rushes me off the phone. After several times of this bullstink, I told him that I feel like he's pushing me away. He says I'm being too sensitive and I shouldn't feel that way. But still I did stop calling and cut him off without a word. He then called me and asked why I don't care anymore and that I need to call him so he can make sure I'm okay. Feeling bad, I started calling him again. But then I was still in the same rut with the cold shoulder. So ultimately I told him that we are better off being friends because we don't know each other enough to commit to a relationship and that our communication is lousy. He didn't seem happy with the friendship thing but he said he will go with anything I want. But after that decision was made he became sweet as pie and calls me all the time. He says he wants me really bad all the time. So we are dating again, but I am nervous. Although he is nice now I still want to know what kind of game was he trying to pull before with that phone tag thing. Help me out. Am I being too sensitive or should I give him the benefit of the doubt?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004
Fri, 11-04-2005 - 1:13pm
This sounds like the classic cat and mouse game. I just went through the same thing myself with my ex bf. I put up with this crap for 3 years, so don't make the same mistake I did. Your bf doesn't seem to be ready for a commitment. He probably feels trapped. But the moment you pull away, he starts "chasing you" again. Once he reels you back into the relationship, he takes you for granted again. So you pull away again and he chases you again. Before you know it, you are suckered into playing his game. This bad cycle is what happened with me and my ex. A real relationship cannot be built upon these games. He will never stay fully committed for long. You are better off finding a mature guy, who wants a real relationship. Life is too short to waste on a commitmentphobe.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
Fri, 11-04-2005 - 1:58pm

You didn't say how long you have been together.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2005
Fri, 11-04-2005 - 2:09pm
wow i hope he is worth all of this! if he is then go for it start again, wipe the slte clean or whatever the hell that expression actually is! if he does it again talk to him say you have already got rid off him once and if he carries on like that you will do it again! be honest about how you feel! if it doesnt feel right then it probably isnt! im soooo aware how tacky this sounds but meant in the less tacky as possible way go with the flow! but if you get rid off him this time dont take him back- your woth more then that xxx