not looking for love but found it anyway
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not looking for love but found it anyway
| Thu, 09-16-2004 - 1:07pm |
I just moved to college 1000 miles away from my home. I have loved EVERY single aspect about college. I can't even explain to you how much. Highschool was completely a disaster and this college is a dream come true for me.
I never dated in highschool because I always found that my time and studies were much more important to me than dating. At least that's the reason I always gave everyone- the real reason was because of my weight. I am overweight. Not extreme or anything- but enough to the point where imiture highschool boys would look down upon it. The boys in my highschool were extremely imiture and I promised myself that I would not go through all of the scwabble that my friends were because I have very high standards for myself, I had and still have my life planned out. At the same time, I was going through some very tough things with my family and dating wouldn't have fit into my life.
Now that I am in college however, there is this guy, named Jake, who is in class with me every day, he and I have developed a close friendship, and I have developed a rather liking with the guy. Since I am at a disadvantage having no experience with guys whatsoever I just don't know what to do. He is the nicest guy I have ever met.I really want to ask him out to dinner or something. What scares me though is that if I do and he says no- will it ruin our new friendship? I am so lost and cannot even think about anything else for the past three weeks. I will absolutely DIE if that happens because his friendship is more important. I just need some suggestions maybe someone has been in a situaiton like this before? Maybe someone knows a Jake- and it turned out good.
I never dated in highschool because I always found that my time and studies were much more important to me than dating. At least that's the reason I always gave everyone- the real reason was because of my weight. I am overweight. Not extreme or anything- but enough to the point where imiture highschool boys would look down upon it. The boys in my highschool were extremely imiture and I promised myself that I would not go through all of the scwabble that my friends were because I have very high standards for myself, I had and still have my life planned out. At the same time, I was going through some very tough things with my family and dating wouldn't have fit into my life.
Now that I am in college however, there is this guy, named Jake, who is in class with me every day, he and I have developed a close friendship, and I have developed a rather liking with the guy. Since I am at a disadvantage having no experience with guys whatsoever I just don't know what to do. He is the nicest guy I have ever met.I really want to ask him out to dinner or something. What scares me though is that if I do and he says no- will it ruin our new friendship? I am so lost and cannot even think about anything else for the past three weeks. I will absolutely DIE if that happens because his friendship is more important. I just need some suggestions maybe someone has been in a situaiton like this before? Maybe someone knows a Jake- and it turned out good.
I didn't come to college looking for a boyfriend/husband/soulmate in fact it probably would complicate things and I want no more than to focus on my dreams right now - but than why doesn't his picture LEAVE MY HEAD. Am i crazy?? I am soooo confused...Help!
Thanks

I think you should just ask him to hang out outside of school and go from there. If it's more casual and less like a date, then you may feel a little less awkward. Invite him to study over coffee together. Or to see that movie you two were talking about, or to hang out with friends on a fri night after a tough exam. Hopefully in time you can get up the courage to let him know you enjoy his company and would like to date him.
I really hope things work out for you.
Alison
Elle