not ready?
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not ready?
| Tue, 08-29-2006 - 2:26pm |
what does it mean when a guy tells you he's not 100% ready for a serious relationship? how would you define a serious relationship? does it mean that he still wants to date other women. does it mean that he's just not 100% emotionally available?
we've been seeing each other for a month now and he still wants to continue seeing me. we have not had sex yet but we did fool around.

"Not 100 percent ready for a serious relationship" usually means he wants to continue dating other women. But it could also mean he believes one month is just too soon to be thinking about being committed to you, or to anyone. It's probably BOTH.
Whatever his reasons for saying that, please don't think of this guy as someone to settle down with. He's not interested... and that's all you really need to know. Continue dating him if you want. But STOP fantasizing about a future with him. And I would not have sex with him unless you're comfortable with the idea of having "casual" sex.
Take care of yourself.
I spoke to him last night. I misunderstood what he meant by 100% not ready. When we first started dating he told me he was 100% emotionally available and I told I wasn't. It turns out he's not ready for a relationship with anyone. He prefers something more casual at the moment. He needs more "me time" for himself. He suggested not seeing each other anymore until he is ready. He didn't want to hurt me cuz I wanted a relationship. I didn't even bother to ask how much time he needed. I have developed feelings for him and I am not up for a casual relationship. So we broke it off even though he is still very attracted to me and see me on a casual basis. I am really disappointed. I really wanted this to work out.
The way I look at this, he just lost interest in me. He came on really strong and wanted a relationship with me. Told me everything I wanted to hear so he can get laid (he has a very strong sex drive and can't keep his hands off me everytime we spent time together) We never had sexual intercourse but did fool around. When he found out I wanted to wait until marriage, that's when he started to slowly lose interest in me. I hope not all guys are like this.
I'm sorry hon. I know you're disappointed, but just be glad you were smart enough to refrain from "going all the way." You'd feel worse than you do right now if you had.
And of course all guys aren't like this. I don't know how old you are, but you are probably very young (20 yo or younger?). You will meet ALL kinds of guys as you keep dating. Some will want to get serious with you right away (with or without sex), while others will run at the first mention of commitment.
Just remember to keep your own attitude light and don't expect too much in the first couple of months of dating someone. You'll be a much happier and more successful "dater."
Good luck.