Not ready yet...maybe?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2005
Not ready yet...maybe?
2
Tue, 10-11-2005 - 2:32pm
I met this man about six months ago. He works where I work and see him quite a bit. We've flirted and had long conversations from time to time. I work with youth and he's a construction worker. Now, he is fine looking and I will admit that I found him to be very attractive. Over the summer, I had fundraisers with the youth; a couple of car washes, raffles and things like that. At one car wash, he came to hang out with us. We had a water fight and it was lots of fun. We started talking even more after this. I obtained his phone number from a friend of ours and we started texting each other. I had to leave on a business trip and he called me daily and nightly. Everything seemed to be going along fine. I was concerned about our age difference; he told me that it did not matter to him. I'm 36, he is 23. We talked about past relationships; fear of hurting again and things like that. He told me he was afraid sometimes because it seemed too good to be true. When I returned from my trip; he filled my head with a magnitude of endearments. I was falling. I didn't want to. He met me at my parents house after I returned and sat with me to watch a dvd. When it was over, he hugged me, kissed my forehead. I was like wow. He took me places; thanked his lucky stars that we met; blah blah blah. I was confused and scared too. I mean, all this, right away? I asked him about it and he told me he was okay with my fears, cause he sometimes felt the same way. I scared him, because I had it together. I was not only beautiful on the outside, but also on the inside. He told me he cared for me alot. He said he loved me. Well; after that, I was like okay, I will go along and quit being such a fraidy cat. Guess what? he started to distance himself from me. Then he tells me that he is not ready and he had no intention of hurting me but he believes that he is not over his ex wife. She left him over a year ago; took his two kids and didn't contact him at all. Now, she's calling and he's been speakin to his son. I am glad that he is being re united with his kids. I am happy for him. He called it off with me, but he still calls me. I still text him; but I don't expect much from him. What the heck am I doing? He told me straight up he does not wish to resume a relationship with his ex-wife; she has her boyfriend with her and he just wants to focus on his kids. Be friends? or get the hell out while I can?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Wed, 10-12-2005 - 10:28pm

Hi ndpebbles and welcome to the board.


I think you know the answer, but I'll give you mine anyway: Get out. Anything that starts with so much around it can't end well.


Be thankful for what he brought into your life and be thankful for what won't be brought in by letting go.


Hope this helps. Keep us posted please!


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2005
Thu, 10-13-2005 - 8:50am
It sounds like you need to move on. For whatever reason, he's not available and that's all you need to know. You can still care about someone and let them go.