Not sure if he really wants it
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| Tue, 02-06-2007 - 11:48am |
DEAR DATING DOYENNE,
I AM 14 YRS. OLDER THAN MY BOYFRIEND WHICH IS (32) AND I'M TRYING NOT TO LET THAT BOTHER OUR RELATIONSHIP. HE SAYS THAT HE DOESN'T EVEN THINK OF IT UNLESS I SAY SOMETHING, AND HE ALSO SAYS HE'S DEEPLY IN-LOVE W/ME AND WE HAVE TOUCHED ON THE SUBJECT OF THE "M" WORD. HOWEVER SOMETIMES I HAVE A HARD TIME WITH SEEING HIM NOTICE YOUNGER GIRLS, SOMETIMES WITH MORE THAN JUST ONE GLANCE, AND (WHICH HE HAD HIS HEART BROKEN BY ONE THAT WAS TEN YEARS YOUNGER THAN HIM NOT LONG BACK). HE ALSO IS VERY CHARMING, EXTREMELY GOOD LOOKING AND BEAUTIFUL BODY AND GREAT PACKAGE!
HE TELLS ME HE IS IN LOVE WITH ME FOR WHO I AM ALSO, BUT HE HAS A BIT OF A FONDNESS, (NOT SURE THAT WOULD BE THE RIGHT WORD), FOR PORN AS WELL. NOT A PERVERT, NOT AN ADDICT, BUT SAYS IT'S PRETTY. SAYS IT'S NOT NECESSARILY THE GIRLS/GUYS LOOKS, BUT THE ACT OF WHAT THEY ARE DOING. I'LL GIVE HIM THAT CAUSE I'M NOT AGAINST A LITTLE VOYERISIM MYSELF TO AN EXTENT. BUT I DO NOT LOOK LIKE THOSE GIRLS, NOT THAT I'M NOT ATTRACTIVE FOR MY AGE, BUT DO NOT HAVE A BODY LIKE THAT, BUT DECENT ASSETS. WHAT I'M WORRIED ABOUT I GUESS IS WILL HE THINK THE SAME IF WE WERE TO DO THE "M" WORD OR EVEN IN TEN YEARS FROM NOW WHEN I'M STILL 14 YRS. OLDER, BUT ALSO OVER 55 AND HE WILL JUST BE 42. I TRUELY DON'T WANT THE HEARTBREAK OF FINDING THAT OUT, AND MAYBE THE HARD WAY. NOT THAT I DON'T WANT TO TRUST HIM BUT THAT'S BEEN AN ISSUE FOR ME SINCE WAY BACK AND QUIET A FEW TIMES OVER IN PAST EXPERIENCES. DO YOU THINK YOU COULD HELP A FRIEND OUT WITH LITTLE ADVISE?
WOULD LIKE TO BE HIS EVERYTHING

I don't know how a man is supposed to defend himself against a woman's imagination. You are creating fictional stories years in the future then projecting them against him as though he is already guilty until proven innocent. Frankly, I find this to be high disrespectful as you are ignoring the value he brings to your life today in favor of fictional stories from your imagination.
As people we all have a wide variety of thoughts on what we consider to be attractive or sexy. We all have some level of fantasy in our lives. No doubt even you has a picture in your mind as to what you find sexy and you also have fantasies. However, this is something you can not control in him.
So what exactly do you expect him to do in response to your imagination?