Not sure if I should call him???
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| Tue, 08-03-2004 - 12:18am |
He drove me home and he grabbed a piece of paper and gave me his number, and he said something about "if you want to call me" and I gave him my number, and I was like "you call me".
So I haven't heard from him at all, it's been 2 days; my friend thinks that I should call him, that he was too shy to call me, or he thinks I'm not interested. I guess I could call him, but I've had guys give me their numbers before and then had to deal with the frustration of never hearing from them again, or not returning my call.
I'm kind of embarrassed to say that I really don't know this guy at all. I would like to get to know him better, but I'd just as soon spare myself the BS, if it's not likely he's interested in seeing me again, or for more than just sex. I just came out of a relationship where my boyfriend lied to me practically every time he opened my mouth and
I was just getting to the point where I was enjoying being single again. I was also very open about the fact that I have 4 kids and share custody with my ex-husband. Usually that's a big turn-off, but this guy didn't seem too concerned about it. Of course, that was because he was hoping to get lucky!
Since he gave me his number, should I call him? Or do people just do that because they think they should? If I call him, should it be right away? Should I wait a few more days? I don't know.
Edited 8/3/2004 10:42 am ET ET by katee29

Shy? No. Not at all. He got what he wanted and bounced.
Why in an age of aids and std's are we women still being loose and having one night stands and then being naive to wonder why the guy hasn't called?
This is why I can't go out and enjoy myself because women are to easy to go sleep with someone that men expect all women to be this way. This is why men are the way they are.
You think he's shy and afraid you're not interested? Ha. He knows just how interested you are. Apparently, he's the one who lost interest.
I had my 1st one nighter over the weekend (only my 2nd sex partner at age 30 so thank you but I'm far from loose) - I simply got to the point where I'm sick of the crap that comes with dating and getting heartbroken (before "getting any") and decided for once in my life to live on the edge and do something for MYSELF - it had nothing to do with giving in to him in the hope that I'd "hook" him as a boyfriend. I had been chatting with him online over a month and was quite attracted to him intellectually. Nonetheless I don't expect him to be pursuing me as a girlfriend anytime soon but there's no reason why I can't let him know I enjoyed myself and would be open to hanging out with him. But that's me - I've got three jobs and am a student so I've got no time to be distracted by the crap and insecurities of dating right now. SO that's where I'm at - I'd be quite happy with a FWB and figure it's up to me to put that on the table with this guy.
If you're willing to be with him on a very casual basis (cause the only way it would get serious is if HE makes it serious - and that's a big IF and you've got to go into it with the full realization that it's likely to be casual to him) - then let him know. BUt if you want more and are looking for love and romance - I'd agree with those saying he know's where to find you.
But really - How anyone could ever blame women enjoying themselves in the exact same manner that men do - for the reason men "expect" sex all the time is riduculous. Once we hit a certain age and level of maturity there's no reason we can't enter into things with the sole purpose of physical pleasure. I've had several run-in's with men who don't pursue sex on the first date and carry on with the nice guy facade - and they're the ones who've always broken my heart.
I just think going in to have sex with someone you barely know is taking a HUGE risk and not only disease wise. Remember the movie "Looking for Mr. Good Bar?"
I don't mean to put anyone down and I realize we're in a new and different stage now but still... I could not bring myself to a one night stand and then wonder the next day why the guy hasn't called me and expect more.
I think that is being unrealistic. In some cases one night stands might pan out but they are very, very rare.
By the way, be careful.
I do have to disagree about him getting what he wants, and then taking off. I mean, maybe that's what happened, but it went both ways. I got what I wanted too, and was fine with that. It was the whole him giving me his number that threw me off; I really didn't know if he wanted me to call.
This is not something I plan to do often, but I have no regrets. Maybe it's because I wasn't interested in him right away, he was just someone I was hanging out with. He's a sexy guy, maybe not everyone would think that, but I don't tend to go for guys who just *know* they're too sexy for words. He was confident but not in a way that I felt he was a big player. Does this make any sense??? It's confusing even to me.
And he kept asking me, am I making you uncomfortable? Am I being too direct, etc. I felt like I could have stopped things at any point and we both still would have had a good time.
So, no I have no regrets, just questions on whether or not he really wants me to call. I'm fine with things either way. I remember last year when I'd met someone I thought was really nice, and he was a damn good kisser, good looking, fun to be with. His name was Kevin - even said that he was impressed that I wouldn't sleep with him (we'd just met), blah blah. *He* asked for my number, he called me once, I called him a couple times, then nothing. I was really really hurt. Afterwards I realized that he had been playing me all night. He was saying things I wanted to hear, so that after a couple hours, he probably thought I'd give in thinking, "oh he's such a nice guy".
Anyway, point of the story, is when I was whining to a friend of mine, she said, "Oh, there'll be many many other guys who drive you crazy. why worry about this one?"
And well, she's been right. He's just the latest one. I later heard from someone who works with Kevin that he thinks he's God's Gift to women. Someday I'll meet the right guy, things will click, but right now, I'm going to enjoy whatever happens in the meantime.