Not Sure this is the right place.....
Find a Conversation
| Sat, 10-13-2007 - 4:40pm |
But I have a big issue with dating:
Background- Was married for 20 years and have been divorced 6 months(separated for 18). Ex-H and I get along well, share custody of our 2 kids(20 and 16), and get together with them every couple weeks as a family group.
The Rebound- Happened 3 months after my ex-h moved out. It was fun and sweet and got my confidence back.
The First Relationship Afterwards- I met my BF in January and he asked me to be exclusive in May. I agreed. We have fallen into a routine where we see each other two nights a week. I have my kids 4 nights, and 1 night is reserved for my friends.
Complication-In May , I met another man, who is wonderful, but lives 80 miles away
Now-
1. "Boyfriend"- Is a very caring man, but lately he has been doing she things that I don't like a. He wants more of my time. 2. is not as understanding when I spend time with my kids and ex-H together. His friends have commented that he should NOT be okay with it, and he has mentioned it to me. 3. Has been asking me when I will be ready to take things to the next phase. 4. While I love the fact he is caring and good with his extended family, he blames then for him not"being where he wants to be in life", as he has chosen to help them out. I told him that he should not blame others for his choices. 5. Can be somewhat domineering in the bedroom. 6. Has a mediocre job he complains about, has big plans, but fails to put them into action in terms of starting his own business. While I care about him a great deal, I am not sure if long term I can be with someone who is not willing to handle their business and who is pushing me for a lifetime commitment after so recently ending a marriage that lasted half of my life. He is 33 single and no kids.

I feel that the 'greener grass' will soon enough begin to show less-than-green patches. It's only been a few months, so he's still putting his best foot forward.
The 'not-so-green grass' doesn't honestly seem all that bad- you just
I agree that new guy is still putting his best foot forward and that it is new and we need to get to know each other a lot better, partcularly given the distance.
In my heart, I know that you are right that my BF and I have different personal and financial goals and that ultimately it will not work. I need to fid the courage to end it. I would prefer that he did it, as I have not really broken up woth anyone snce I was a teen. My marriage slowly deteriorated, and my rebound fling just fizzled with no hurt.
The advice given to you by intj make sense to me.