nothing serious

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2005
nothing serious
14
Mon, 07-31-2006 - 10:26pm
if a man tells you that due to circumstances he cant have anything serious right now, but wants to still hang out with you, tells you he likes you, do you do this? You have known him about a month and have not had sex. Would it be wasting time to think he'd come around?

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Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: corbeach
Tue, 08-01-2006 - 1:01am

If you want something serious, then yes, IMO it would be wasting time.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
In reply to: corbeach
Tue, 08-01-2006 - 1:05am

Well, when a guy says he doesn't want something serious, it means that he's game. He'll take whatever he can get from the girl...hanging out and conversation, but his main objective is getting kisses, hugs, cuddling, sex, etc. He wants to have his needs met at all cost.

If he says he doesn't want anything serious believe him and don't get your hopes up thinking that he'll come around or change his mind. Usually, the girl wants more and expects him to change his mind, but he usually doesn't. When she asks for more he shuts down and disappears or tells the gilr "I told you I didn't want anyhting serious.

If you can handle a deal like this go ahead and knock yourself out.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2006
In reply to: corbeach
Tue, 08-01-2006 - 2:40am
REAL PLAYER PURE AND SIMPLE>>like games>> go for this dude......eom
Avatar for blondie0506
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: corbeach
Tue, 08-01-2006 - 1:34pm

I totally disagree that a guy who doesn't want something serious is a "player".

What if he just went through a divorce and he wants someone to go to the movies, parties, dinner with? What if, ok, he DOES want some kissing, etc., along with that? He just isn't looking for "the one" right now because he KNOWS it should not be a priority in his life at the moment, because he's got other priorities/obligations/issues to take care of?

The guy who IS a player and is selfish, is the guy who tells you "well, we can see where it goes" KNOWING that he doesn't want anything more. THEN he says "hey, I never SAID I wanted anything serious", knowing full well that he was misleading. THAT guy is a "player".

And to answer the OP, no, I wouldn't date this guy. I don't gamble with my emotions and with my life. Experience has taught me that the odds are not in my favor.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
In reply to: corbeach
Tue, 08-01-2006 - 2:30pm

"REAL PLAYER PURE AND SIMPLE>>like games>> go for this dude......eom"

What kind of suggestion is this that you give this woman? It implies that you're possibly a player and like these kind of relationships. That's the worst suggestion you can give to a woman who is confused about what the guy is telling her. You're 55 years of age and should know better. This response can be expected of an 18 year old boy, who doesn't have the capacity or maturity to judge the situation. Your response doesn't fit with your profile. An pology to this woman is in order.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2006
In reply to: corbeach
Tue, 08-01-2006 - 3:27pm
Let me explain myself;;;Sorry for short message earlier...First of all I am not at all like that guy.....Second I am not a player......I go out with the intention of going whereever it leads to .....To state right from the get go "nothing serious" I take to mean this::I might make love to you down the road but don't get any ideas of this becoming a relationship in a committed way........I might be wrong ...But I know one guy of course he is only 25....his belief is once it gets serious.....ie.. girl wants more he dumps her and goes on to the next kill.....He is an idiot...And one day he will grow up....Sorry for the confusion ...really I am
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2005
In reply to: corbeach
Tue, 08-01-2006 - 3:27pm

lol...whatever

WEll the person doesnt necessarily have to be a player. They just have a lot going on in life and not enough time for a relationship

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2006
In reply to: corbeach
Tue, 08-01-2006 - 3:35pm
Light;;;You totally are confused about me and my post....I am trying to help..believe it or not...read my reply further up the post line....or just ignore what looks quite obvious and roll the dice...
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2006
In reply to: corbeach
Tue, 08-01-2006 - 3:41pm
YEAH right....a lot going on in life to not truly LIVE life....wait till you fall for someone and he hits you with that one...........go ahead give this guy a chance and when you get hurt,,,oh well...........
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: corbeach
Tue, 08-01-2006 - 4:22pm

Your post is simply scratching at the surface. You need to dig deeper to gain a clear understanding. There is a basic life concept that is in play here. He has responsibilities, obligations, goals and priorities that have a direct influence on how he structures his life. What do you know about his responsibilities, obligations, goals and priorities? After you know more about those things, then you can have the next discussion which is - how does any form of relationship add value to his life structure?

Until you have this information, why would you run away?

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