Now what?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2007
Now what?
18
Mon, 06-04-2007 - 1:56am

I had my first date last night with a nice, sweet, sucessful guy. But, here's the catch-I didn't feel any chemistry. His face was alright, and he was shorter than I like, but I didn't feel any sexual excitement. He has asked to see me again, and has even started to call me sweetie. He may be too nice.

So my question to you guys is: If the chemistry is not there on the first date, will it ever be there?? Am I wasting my or his time, if I agree to go out with him again?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
In reply to: sweetivy2007
Mon, 06-04-2007 - 9:21am
Go out with him again. The first date can be uncomfortable for some people and if he was nervous then you didn't get to see his personality yet. Everyone has a playful side where they could come off almost arrogant..you haven't seen this side to him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2007
In reply to: sweetivy2007
Mon, 06-04-2007 - 10:35am
An entire date is a long time to see if you have chemistry, in my opinion. For me, if it wasn't there already then it's not there.
Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
In reply to: sweetivy2007
Mon, 06-04-2007 - 10:51am

Hi sweet,

What is your usual? Do you usually know when it's not a match after the first date? If so, I say don't go again. Pretty much for me, whenever I have gone out with a guy and didn't feel a little something, it never showed up the second time.

On the other hand, I say it's OK to try a second time...you never know, he could look different to you this next time. But like you, I'd be a little uncomfortable with him calling me "sweety." I know you don't want to lead him on if you think he's getting attached already, so I know it can be a tough call.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
In reply to: sweetivy2007
Mon, 06-04-2007 - 2:42pm
Pint taken, but we don't know how long the date was. Sweetivy, how long was this first date? I have dated guys with whom the first date was nice and fun and I liked them, but no major "bang" occured - everyone is a little nervous. After the second date I was able to see things much better because we both got to relax. And sometimes you just know on the first date,or even before the first date.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
In reply to: sweetivy2007
Mon, 06-04-2007 - 2:44pm
He probably calls everyone "sweetie". n/t
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2007
In reply to: sweetivy2007
Tue, 06-05-2007 - 10:42pm

snafu: "Pint taken, but we don't know how long the date was. Sweetivy, how long was this first date?"

Hi, snafu. The first date was long. We went to dinner and then went to a movie. It was only supposed to be a movie, but he wanted to extend it.

To everyone, thank you all for the replies. I will give this another date, and try to get to know this person. He calls me everyday without me asking him to, so I'm getting to know him more as we talk. Last night, he opened up more. He is everything I would want on paper, a really decent guy, so I will go on another date and report back to you guys.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2006
In reply to: sweetivy2007
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 11:48am
One date is too soon to tell if you could be attracted to someone. Try two more dates. If after three you still don't feel it then most likely you won't. I tried for 10 dates. I tried to kiss, cuddle still didn't feel right. For absolutely sure it wasn't happening.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
In reply to: sweetivy2007
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 12:41pm
Have fun and good luck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2007
In reply to: sweetivy2007
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 8:09pm
Thanks, snafu. I agree with you guys, so I'll see him again. :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2005
In reply to: sweetivy2007
Thu, 06-07-2007 - 10:31am
First dates are awkward by nature. I'd go out with him again just to be sure of your feelings before writing him off.

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