Oh boy...just my lousy luck again:(

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2003
Oh boy...just my lousy luck again:(
3
Wed, 09-14-2005 - 5:37pm
Just as I had really given up on finding even a halfway normal guy who doesn't just want to play games or only have sex for a night, I met a LOVELY man online who comes from the country I am about to travel to and work in. Sounds good? NO! He is from the absolute other end of the country! I am going up North and he lives right down South! He plays in a small orchestra at the weekends and so this is how his time is taken up (he has just had his 40th birthday and never been married) but said he would like very much to meet me and will travel up to the city I am going to be as soon as he is able. I have made no commitments yet in this city but have 3 work interviews; the work situation for me there is better than in all the other places in that country and it is more cosmopolitan. Of course if he and I had met and eg been together a while it would be different but I cannot and will not change my plans now. I think whilst it is not possible to maintain a long distance relationship forever surely if he is keen he will not lose touch with me and will make the effort to see me from time to time? The trouble is, having met him, my enthusiasm for this new place is dampened feeling that, if he happened to be right for me and I for him, I could not settle in this city and after say a year would have to think about relocating. I suppose yes, I am being premature but I cannot believe my bad luck in meeting someone with whom I connected so strongly and who couldn't be much further away in the same country.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2003
Wed, 09-14-2005 - 5:57pm
I would say, at this early stage, go according to your own personal plans, thinking he is Not in the picture. It is too early to be deciding based on this presence in your life. Wish you the Best. And I do believe, if people click and believe that there is something in the relationship, then they will both want to work hard at keeping it going. If they let it go, then perhaps, that is how it is meant to be. That's what I believe. Make sure you both do take the opportunity to spend lots of time with each other. That kind of foundation will be invaluable before you both get separated for longer periods of time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2003
Thu, 09-15-2005 - 8:23am
Thank you! Yes, the test will be if he is willing to get on the plane to come see me. In a way our distance will test his feelings for me. He has a demanding job and weekend commitments but if he is keen enough, he should find a way. It is a very bad idea to relocate to a place just because of a man. I did that in another country quite a few years ago and guess what; the guy dumped me as soon as I got there. Not only did he dump me but in a cruel way refused to see me at all. I am not saying this would happen here put putting all one's eggs in one basket is always perilous.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Thu, 09-15-2005 - 1:17pm

Yes it's easier not to start a relationship long distance and who knows if this guy would even be right for you.

,