ok to break up before christmas?
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| Mon, 12-11-2006 - 3:52pm |
OK.. After hemming and hawing about whther or not I should break up with this guy (It will be 2 years if we make it to February of 07). I have finally decided that I need to. While he is a great guy and has been good for me and to me over the past year.. we are not a good long term future match. Our kids hate each other. My kids are always getting upset by him. He is someone who sleeps constantly..Half the day is done and he is waking up...anyway..bottomline is we are not a good match. I see it but he thinks we acan work through it all.
Ok, I feel like I owe it to him to tell him in person. So email or phone calls are out. I have never really dated anyone before (My ex was the one who sught the divorce). We each have a key to each other's place. I dont have anything at his place.. but he has stuff at my place...not to mention that he has programmed my computer and tv remote to have his name on accounts (So that is another thing.. hwo to get rid of that.. ..actually that is something that bothered me too I thought he was presumptuous to just program that stuff with his name.. sure if we got married that is one thing..but anyway..)..anyway if he calls to come over do I say sure.. and then break it to him..that way I am around as he gets his stuff (won't that be hard on him).. we can exchange keys and move on? Or do I meet him for coffee or something.. break it to him and let him go get his stuff ...(Or do I bring him his stuff which I imagine will make him feel bad..) I just don't know HOW to do this.. I do like him as a person and, trite as it sounds, I would like to stay friends with him..he is a nice person.
HELP I have been dithering and loosing sleep about this for a couple of weeks now!

I would arrange to meet at his house and take him his stuff. You definitely don't want to make him drive to your place and then break up with him (talk about adding insult to injury!). And after almost 2 years, I think you owe him a breakup that's conducted in private. The only reason to do it in public IMO would be if you are afraid he will get violent or something.
Sheri
Thanks guys for your advice...
I never had to break up with someone before..I now understand how hard and stressful it is. I am really torn about doing it before Christmas versus after. I can see a pro and con.. Con.. is I already know I am puzzling him as I am acting more reserved..so he is getting hurt and I don't want him to go all out on buying me a present (he has really gone all out in the past) as I don't want him to feel double whammied (I actually had one girl friend tell me to wait and get the presents then tell him after the holidays..but that is just so not me.. even if I wait so as to avoid hurting him now, I will return the presents to him).
Pro..is closure on this for he and I..much as it will hurt him I think he will recover and move on... he just opened a store so he will be very busy with it over the season...Agh... I just hate this it is so hard....
Thanks for the advice!