OK so now what
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| Mon, 03-05-2007 - 10:53pm |
Ok so those of you who have read my last post, may think me a little insecure. You would be right. So I did not tell him how I felt (thank God), it turns out that my mister maybe is not more then mister stay the he!! away from. I defiantly had someone looking out for me.
But my big question is how do I make it turn around. I am starting to think that I am so desperate to find someone that I will try and see that good in just about anyone who looks at me twice......
My other question is does true love really exist or are we meant to settle down with someone who we can tolerate?. Part of me thinks I maybe distend to spend the rest of my life as the Canadian version of Bridget Jones... But the other part of me believes that there could possible be someone out there for me.
My next question is How do I overhaul my love life or lack there of ? And lastly my final question is now do I get to be ok with still being single and watching the rest of my friends get married have babies and find great loves ?.
I know that I have used the post as a sort of venting tool, but I am looking for advice. I really need a love life makeover any suggestions...
Edited 3/5/2007 11:39 pm ET by gal_help

I completely understand where you're coming from and though this answer may be oversimplified, but the answer really is to focus on you.
When you ask how to turn it around, are you asking about the guy or about your love life? If your love life, I would say to stop looking for now. Sometimes when we are seeking it out, it never comes--think of waiting for a pot of water to boil!
I know you want to find someone, but first you must find yourself. Take some time to learn more about you, what you like, what you dislike, what makes your heart flutter. Treat yourself well, pamper yourself. Take up a new hobby, learn a new sport, do something that makes you feel alive. I really believe that the only way you can ask for a person to be the person you want is for you to first be that person.
Hope this helps. (And stick around to give advice or share what's going on...)
I didn't read the other post so if it a repeat I'm sorry. Not to sound harsh but I think you need to find the confidence within you to be your own person before becoming a "desperatly seeking susan". You cannot compare your lifes timeline to those of your friends. Happiness comes from within not the company of someone you have "settled" for.
I felt the same way as you some time ago. I was meeting the worst men and thought there was something wrong with me. I did some life changing events, went back to school, moved to a geat place that is close to the things that I enjoy, and just did things that made me happy. My friends have since divorced, been used, and are stuck with their lives because of decisions they made too young. Marriage and children are great but so is being single and finding unique gifts of the world.
Good things come to those who wait...
Great post!
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I couldn't agree more with this. It really works. I took this advice (I learned it from another 'tough love' iVillage poster, in fact) and it changed my life. It took awhile, and I'm still learning 4 years later. The side effect of figuring out what you love to do and what you're good at doing, is it builds confidence. This confidence overflows into every thought and action and you begin to realize that your ideas ARE valid and your way of doing things IS a good way to do things.
Once you start gaining that confidence, you can reign it in and really decide what your boundaries will be in a relationship or dating situation. Then, when someone crosses those boundaries, you'll have enough confidence and self-esteem to see through the cloud of emotion and cross that prospect off of your list.
Once you realize that no matter where you go, there you are (you'll ALWAYS have YOU, so learn to love that YOU), your life will be fuller and happier than you can imagine, and that incessant *need* for a man will begin to get weaker. But this is GOOD news because this is a sign that you're getting healthier. THEN, when you're healthier, you'll find a healthy-minded partner and you can begin a healthy relationship.
Good luck to you.