okay girls....question
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okay girls....question
| Wed, 07-28-2004 - 7:38am |
Most of the regulars in here know the story about my 1st online guy and what happened. If not it is on a previous post---online guy a fake, etc. under my name. Anyhow--update....he has since (since sun) taken his profile off of this other site, (never put it back up on yahoo or match) and had contacted me and I quote. "Im finding myself still constantly thinking about you. Im wondering if you are 100% sure you want to call it quits. Do you think we can try again when I get back from Canada? The ball is in your court. Take some time and think about

A) he could have said it just as another control thing to see if you'll come back despite your concerns. That's the slightly pessimisticly (that a word?) tinged view.
B) the ball IS in your court, and now is your opportunity to decide if you're prepared to give something with him another go. The good thing about this is that you can do it on YOUR terms. You get to set the boundaries and he gets to decide if he's willing to do what it takes to be with you.
In either situation, you STILL get to set the pace and the boundaries. If you're prepared to take a big step back (put the walls slightly up, you might say), and see what comes of just trying to get along and dating (without the sex bit), you'll get your answer of what he wants pretty quick. He either accommodates your terms and you build something over a longer period of time, or he pushes for sex and you know that's all he was after.
Either way, you'll know pretty quick what he is looking for.
Can't hurt for you both to at least apologise for the misunderstandings over a coffee? You've obviously both been thinking about each other...
Eve
BUT, so long as you feel you can maintain boundaries when you see him and objectively evaluate his behavior, I don't see the harm in going out with him again and just seeing. I'd stay away from any alcohol, though, and make it clear that sex is NOT on the menu at this point.
Sheri
I think you shouldn't focus so much HIM and what HE must be thinking, or what HE is after, or whether HE is controlling.
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