Older man
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Older man
| Sun, 11-28-2004 - 3:15pm |
I am a 22 year old woman who has been seeing a 39 year old man for about two months. At the beginning, I thought we were just hanging out for fun but then after a couple of weeks he began dropping hints about getting serious, meeting his family and wanting me to sleep over (we already have had sex). At first I didn't want to read too much into his hints because I didn't want to get hurt. Now I'm not sure what to do. I don't know whether to talk to him about this or to let him bring it up on his own. Ever since I didn't respond to his hints he has been jumping on everything I say without letting me explain myself. How do I bring this up? Should I discuss it with him at all? Or have I mess up so badly it can't be fixed? Please help!

jeepy223...
Pianoguy would probably be a little nervous if "a woman jumped all over his sentences" when he was trying to make his point. This is often a cue that a partner doesn't have a great deal of patience...or is unwilling to listen to another person's point of view.
What you need to ask yourself is: "Can I realistically accept the 17-year age difference and adapt to a 'more mature' (Pianoguy never uses the word: OLDER) lifestyle?" The two of you might have terrific chemistry together, but there's an issue YOU have to deal with. The man you're with has lived through nearly two decades of life that you haven't! Whether you'll miss out on a lot of possible opportunities...as well as friendships with people closer to your age...is something you need to address within yourself FIRST.
Can you HONESTLY give these options up? This requires some serious thought. BUT...in the event you decide to approach the gentleman with your feelings (positive or negative), get a promise out of him that he'll KEEP HIS MOUTH SHUT FOR AT LEAST 10 MINUTES while you...err..."present your case!"
Good Luck!
Pianoguy
I know how you feel. I am also currently in love with an older man who is 20 years my senior.
My advice is that in this matter you should really decide what's best for you or if you can really see yourself 20-40 years down the lane with this man. Do you click well and do you feel comfortable with the relationship? Has the age difference ever come up as a subject in an argument or discussion, etc?
I think you should sit down and have a chat with him. I'm sure unlike some younger men is that he will be willing to sit down and talk with you. Sometimes age isn't a big an issue as people might think because a lot of relationships have almost every problem from cultural differences, faith differences to family disapprovals..
In the end it's up to you to make the decision. Maybe you need time. You're still very young and you haven't been through the 17 years that he has been, yet. Maybe things can change and you can change.
I wish you the best of luck!
red_rose_fairy