the one that got away

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2004
the one that got away
1
Mon, 10-25-2004 - 4:39pm
A little over 4 years ago, I met the love of my life, the one that I know I'll never get over as hard as I may and have tried. The way I am, I have a hard time with relationships period, and he is the only person I have ever been able to love and trust in any way in my life. He is one of the most amazing people I've ever known, and I let him get away. Last October, he got married, and I cried, but I supported it because I thought that would make him happy. She is really cute, really nice, wonderfully talented, all of the things I know he deserves. Ever since that happened, I have been trying to get over him even though I know somewhere inside me that it won't happen. More recently, I've met a couple other guys that are really great guys. One of them was a friend of a friend, and he is now in a local university. He's cute, sweet, and interested. When I was younger, I remember having the biggest crush on him, and now he really is a classy guy, someone that I would recommend to any girl who was interested. But I am not. And moreover, the other guy is also cute, sweet, open minded, everything that I have a hard time finding around here. He is the opposite of 99% of the guys I went to school with, and its extremely positive. I have fun with him, he's easy to talk to, he's not taken or gay, and he's also interested it would seem. The most uncommon thing about both of these new guys is that they both know where they're going in life. At our ages especially, it is not common. But for these guys, they have plans, they know exactly where they're going and what they're doing, and it is great. But for some reason, every time I start to think about getting together with the second, I can't. As its become more of a possibility, I have started to see my old flame more and more frequently. We used to fall into situations of seeing each other in odd and random places we didn't expect all the time. But that stopped for a while, and now it is starting again. He is married, and I won't do anything to disrupt that. But every time he shows up lately, I feel that pang in my heart and all the feelings I had from the start resurface in an almost unbearable way. I really want to move on with my life and let him go on with his without having to think about it all the time. Moreover, I see the other two guys both as possible ways to achieve that, but something inside me keeps holding me back and I can't.


Edited 10/25/2004 4:42 pm ET ET by boarderbabe_21
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 10-25-2004 - 4:49pm
boarderbabe 21...

Please repeat the following phrase 100 times:

"My old flame is now married---and our relationship is closed FOREVER!"

After you have repeated the above phrase...no more wining and pining! Instead...go for the 2 single guys who admire you and have their heads on straight!

Pursue them! Your focus should be their direction...and not a man you can NO LONGER HAVE!

Pianoguy