One Kiss?
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One Kiss?
| Sun, 11-07-2004 - 4:15am |
My boyfriend and I have been going out for 4 years now. I am his first girlfriend and he lost his virginity with me. The last few months I have been pretty nasty and can really put him down, without even realizing it. I am also never in the mood of sex and I really do not know where its coming from.
I always told him that cheating in any form is wrong and it would mean the end of the relationship for me.
We had a party yesterday and I saw him flirting with a girl. I know her as well and I also know that he thinks she's weird. I saw him drinking ALOT, but I thought to myself....innocent flirting. Before we left the party I saw her arm around him and him caressing it. I was hurt and suggested to him that we go home. When we got home I was still very hurt and asked him how far it had gone. He told me he kissed her on the lips.
He was honest, but I am so hurt. I really do not know what to do. He also told me that he has been hurting for some time. This due to the fact that I keep putting him down as if he is worthless and never want sex. I need some advice as I really do not know what to do. This is the guy I want to spend the rest of my life with and he's the best thing that has ever happened to me. Can I forgive him? Is this the time we need to think about our future?
I always told him that cheating in any form is wrong and it would mean the end of the relationship for me.
We had a party yesterday and I saw him flirting with a girl. I know her as well and I also know that he thinks she's weird. I saw him drinking ALOT, but I thought to myself....innocent flirting. Before we left the party I saw her arm around him and him caressing it. I was hurt and suggested to him that we go home. When we got home I was still very hurt and asked him how far it had gone. He told me he kissed her on the lips.
He was honest, but I am so hurt. I really do not know what to do. He also told me that he has been hurting for some time. This due to the fact that I keep putting him down as if he is worthless and never want sex. I need some advice as I really do not know what to do. This is the guy I want to spend the rest of my life with and he's the best thing that has ever happened to me. Can I forgive him? Is this the time we need to think about our future?

I'm not saying that people can't see or be with other people if they know that up front. But if you make a promise and agree that the two of you are a monogamous couple then being with someone even if it is just french kissing or rubbing someone's arm should be off limits. If you already spoke about it and made the agreement then you should abide by it. If either partner wants something else they should talk about it. If it is a relationship breaker then so be it. Better to be out of a relationship they deal with mistrust is my opinion. Don't assume that since you have been dating four years that you are in a monogamous relationship you must talk about what each of you expect from each other. Make your agreements and live by them. If either of you can't then it may be time to end that relatinship and move on.
You are facing a crossroads here and need to be happy. If you truly in your heart feel that you can continue your relationship trustfully and bring it to the next level then do so. But if you have doubts, yes, seriously think about your future together. I don't know why but yes it is very difficult to find the right partner.
Right now my heart is bleeding at what I saw.
Best of luck in your relationship.
I gotta go.