opinions please....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
opinions please....
3
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 11:02pm
Hey everyone,

i have gotten myself into a situation that i'm not sure how to handle. I have started dating a friend of mine. I'm not at a place in my life where i want a serious relationship or a boyfriend and was upfront with him at the beginning that we would basically just be casually hanging out and going on casual dates. When i told him this i asked how he felt about that and he agreed that he did not want a relationship either and that that was fine with him. However, since then everything he has done contradicts that. He calls me everyday and wants to hang out all the time. A mutual friend has told me that he really really likes me and has confided that he would like a relationship, however, to me he still maintains that casual dating is all he wants. I really like hanging out with him and have a great time whenever we are together but that doesn't change the fact that i don't want a boyfriend. I feel like he thinks he can change my mind if he's just persistant enough and i feel smothered by the constant phone calls when this is supposed to be casual. I feel like continuing this would be unfair to him because obviously we don't want the same thing and he will probably get hurt but at the same time i really like hanging out with him and whenever i try to talk to him he just tells me that he doesn't want anything serious. I don't know how to best handle this situation and any advice would be appreciated.

Thanks

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2004
In reply to: ivy32
Tue, 05-18-2004 - 12:09am


Hi!

Well, I think you should just remind him again that you just want to be friends with him, and if he continues to try to be more than that, well it will affect your relationship completely, because you most likely will stay away from him becuase you are not on the same page. Maybe you should tell him all you can offer him is friendship and that is either that or nothing. That's what i would do, but is much easier said than done. you should follow your heart and be honest with him from the begining.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2004
In reply to: ivy32
Tue, 05-18-2004 - 2:16pm
i think you are better off being friends if your not looking for anything serious your wasting time. life is too short. you obviously dont connect to him sexually. everytime you are with him there is someone there who could possibly be your match. i think you should honeslty be his friend.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
In reply to: ivy32
Tue, 05-18-2004 - 9:36pm

You've already told him what you want and don't want... now it's time to show him.

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