Opinions please.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2004
Opinions please.....
3
Thu, 05-06-2004 - 5:43pm
Ok...I'll try to make this as short as possible. I am in the process of divorcing....after a 10 year marriage. A few weeks after I seperated I ran into an old high school friend (whom I had NEVER dated) and we started talking. He is also in the process of a divorce. We talked for hours and hours at the beginning and spent a lot of time together....catching up, discussing our failed marriages, etc. He started telling me that he didn't need to meet anybody else, that he had found what he was looking for in me, he was deleting numbers from his cell phone, etc. Totally floored me, because although I was feeling the same, I told him I wasn't sure if it was from the divorce or because I actually honestly was liking him that way...ya know....the whole "new" exciting feeling....then I told him I was certain after a couple of months went by that I knew what I was feeling was real....things continued on...then one day he tells me that I am one of his best friends..he can talk about anything with me....and he doesn't want to lose that, and he was wrong in saying that earlier stuff to me because as it turns out...he doesn't feel that "spark" with me. There are no other problems according to him, just no "spark". Problem is, I have fallen completely for this guy...continue to talk to him 5 or 6 times a day and we have spent EVERY Saturday together since the beginning except 1 or 2 (he was out of town one of the weekends)....what's going on? Why has he backed off? Why does he not realize that the "spark" is the new part that we had already felt and that somebody that can be your best friend is who we should both be looking for? I want to be his friend, because I don't want to lose that, but the feelings that I have for him are not going away.....any input?

Thanks!

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-06-2004 - 8:27pm
I would back off from the friendship until such time as you are able to view him as a strictly platonic friend. You're not going to change his mind on the "spark" thing...that's something you either feel or you don't, and he's telling you he doesn't.

I'm sorry, that has to be tough, but don't make it tougher on yourself by continuing to be in frequent contact with him.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
Thu, 05-06-2004 - 8:46pm

Simply put: I don't think it's going to work.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2003
Mon, 05-10-2004 - 9:47pm
Jilly Good response!