Outrageous Article
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Outrageous Article
| Thu, 08-05-2004 - 3:25am |
I just got through reading "How to find a boyfriend:15 Tips from Professionals".I was outraged to find that the first thing one of these so called experts was telling us is if we look like Roseanne Arnold we should give up all hope of ever finding ourselves a Tom Cruise. Be realistic is advised. As if to imply that any self respecting man with a fair ammount of charm and looks wouldn't dare talk to an "average" looking woman. I'm sorry if I am being overly dramatic, but this really bothers me. I am so tired of the media, and now iVillage, telling us that only the Tyra Banks' and Cindy Crawfords of the world have any chance at true happiness. I have always thought of iVillage to be a place where women could come to celebrate themselves as they are, but now I know I was wrong. It is this kind of crap that only perpetuates the unattainable images we see in magazines and on television, and it's just not right. Loving yourself above all other things is the first key to finding true happiness, wether you look like Roseanne Arnold, the elephant man, or Cameron Diaz. We all deserve a prince charming, no matter what he or we may look like.

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And of course a Roseanne can find a Tom Cruise look-alike who falls in love with her, if he sees her loving heart, like the article says at the end. This reminds me of movie "Shrek"!
I want to believe that sentence it's bas constructed, and the meaning it's another.
What the other posters think?
What I am getting from your post is, a very average looking person "deserves" and is entitled to any person that he/she wants. That is not a very mature viewpoint.
You can look any way you want, but you may not be able to have whoever you want. Perhaps he "should" look past the exterior, but the reality is, many men don't. Research really bears out the fact that men are first attracted to a woman's appearance: its biological. Average-looking people tend to date other average looking types. There are exceptions, of course.
It IS important to love yourself and have a good self-esteem. Its also important to know that you can't have any person that you set your sights on. There will be some who reject us, for whatever reason. We can talk all day long about how shallow they are, but this won't get us anywhere.
Fortunately for me I do like the odd and unusual and stay away from what is considered by most to be ideal. I am attracted to the eccentric... drool.
Whenever I read anything, I drop what does not work for me and keep the rest. I don't care who wrote it. Just because it's there in black and white does not mean it's true for me.
A~
I think what the article is getting at is NOT that the average looking people dont deserve to be with someone who is fabulous. Its obviously talking about initial attraction. Think about it like this: if you are out with your girlfriends, dancing and having a good time, and a very large, pimply, akward, sweaty man grabs your hand and tries to dance with you, you will probably say no. But if he was muscular, and good looking, and maybe still sweaty (haha), you would say yes, and be flattered right?
Its human nature, and I am SURE ivillage didnt mean that all average looking women will have to settle for Quasi motto, or grow old with 45 cats.
I once fell for a beautiful guy and spent a weekend with him. He broke my heart, of course, but it mended quite quickly. What I realized is that he never once asked anything about me, we only talked about things that interested him.
Now, I am what you would call a plain jane. I've even been called cute. My success with men has been about them meeting me in person and falling for my personality, which can be described as lively, humerous, intelligent and subtly flirtatious. In other words, you have to see me to believe me!
A long-winded way of saying: it is dangerous concentrating on what one thinks is important to others because you are going to meet with as much rejection as acceptance. I concentrate on myself, what I have to bring to the table, and try to convey that to the men I am interested in (which are many!!!).
Hope this all made sense to everyone. It's early in the morning!
amjay45
I dated a dude that, on a looks basis, was ideal. I dated him for reasons besides looks, up to and including getting over a breakup. However, after only a month, I realized what a self-absorbed jerk he was. Jerk is a very mild term... there are other words I could use, but I'll let you all fill in the blanks.
The rest of my relationship history consisted of men who were quirky and at first, not physically attractive in some cases. I grew to love them and their quirks after I got to know them better.
I consider myself to be a hard shell to crack. Once I feel comfortable with someone, I can be lively and humorous and flirtatious and fun.
I agree totally in concentrating on what I have to bring to the table. It's wonderful to be with someone with whom I can share experiences and ideas and, well, myself. If I am an empty shell, what's the point of trying to connect with others?
I feel I have alot to offer. It saddens me when people don't see that, but those that do, watch out!
A~
I remember meeting a guy at college who I think was very ugly, and decline to date him. He then started dating one my girlfriends. They then start in a serious relationship and very often he join the group in going out. I have then the oportunity to really know him, and I discovered the wonderful person he was... I felt very dumb at the time, but happy for my friend.
Yeah, I guess people grow up and learn to see behind first impressions and looks. Nowadays I don't decline a man because I don't like his look, neither I jump to bed and into a relationship with a man just because he's gorgeous. I give it time to know the person. Living and learning!
Edited 8/5/2004 2:47 pm ET ET by summerjamgirl
it doesn't mean that only beauty queens have a chance at true happiness, unless "true happines" to you only means being mrs. Tom Cruise ...
I think the article is on the spot, because so many women have this problem, & then they wonder why they're alone.
The advice is good, weather you choose to take it or not.
another thing is how it's written. maybe the humoristic style of it doesn't appeal to you... or maybe it just hit a nerve...
In a way, I think this is kind of mean. If I was famous and saw people talking about me this way, I would be devistated.
I think this discussion proves none of us are any less bent on appearances than the person who wrote the article in the first place.
oh the irony
huh.
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