Overcoming THAT girl...
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| Thu, 05-24-2007 - 9:12pm |
Ok...here's my dilemma. I really like this guy that I work with. Usually, I have a no coworker dating rule. There is just something different about him that I can't seem to get over. He is the nicest, sweetest person I have ever met. He has offered his support to me through a very rough time and he doesn't even know me that well. He is the kind of guy who would drop everything if anyone needed him. And he's single! (I know, hard to believe)
Now, here's the problem. He seems to be in love with another girl we work with. She already has a boyfriend. They were having problems a couple of months ago, so she started pursuing the guy I'm interested in. He started to really like her, and then she dropped the bomb that she has a boyfriend. The problem is, she hasn't changed the way she acts towards him. She is very physical towards him at work, to the point where our coworkers have been mentioning it. She seems to be very attention seeking. He has no reason to change his feelings, because she hasn't changed the way she acts towards him. The only difference is he knows she has a boyfriend.
It makes me sick to watch the way she's treating him, when he deserves a really fabulous girl. I would really like to hang out with him more and get to know him. The problem is, I think he sees me as just a friend. I feel like I can't compete with the girl who throws herself at him.
All of my friends keep telling me how horrible she is, but of course, they're my friends. They have to tell me that! :) I need a completely unbiased opinion on how to approach this situation.
Edited 5/24/2007 9:23 pm ET by browneyz17

Yes, it's hard to believe that he's single. If I were you, I would feel the need to find out what his feelings are for this other woman. Since you believe that he sees you as a friend, it shouldn't be too hard to get the truth out of him. But you need to talk to him away from the office. This situation is complicated because all 3 of you work in the same office and I have been involved in situations where me, the guy and his exes all worked inthe same office - it was terrible.
If you find out that he really likes her, then you have a choice of competing for his attention or stepping back and letting nature take its course. If she is no good, that will become apparent sooner than later. I don't recommend competing for his attention. Does he know that you like him? Maybe he is responsive to this woman because he doesn't know you like him. But I would tread carefully there, after you find out his true feelings for this woman.
Edited 5/24/2007 10:17 pm ET by snafu2006
Perhaps you can suggest trying out this great new (as it turns out romantic) restaurant together or you want to try out some terrific recipe - would he like to come for dinner.