Overly cautious?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2004
Overly cautious?
2
Sun, 05-23-2004 - 9:31pm
I am a single mother of one, living in a largely blue-collar community. I have been divorced for 8 years, and my son is starting to hint that I should get a life! My problem is two-fold. I don't want to involve my child, he has a father and doesn't need another.... I also don't need anymore children to raise! Plus, I am financially secure but it seems that everyone I meet is ....more intersted in my sucess. I work in a large city but don't have the opportunity to met anyone. I'm not into the bar scene, and everyone within my general vicinity looks at me like I'm their meal ticket. Don't get me wrong, I live within a budget. I would like to meet someone who can take care of himself, someone with no strings. Am I being overly cautious? Any suggestions?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
In reply to: cre8tif1
Sun, 05-23-2004 - 10:08pm

Hello cre8tif1!

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: cre8tif1
Mon, 05-24-2004 - 8:51pm
I think you're fine...just because your child wants you to get a life, doesn't mean you have to rush into it.

I'm a single mom, too, and if you're going to have any sort of consequential relationship, you have to realize that yes, the man's never going to be the father and yes, he's going to have a different and yet meaningful relationship with your child, too. Most guys get this. And there are a lot of men out there when I was looking who had kind of missed the boat on having their own bio children for whatever reasons and were open to and interested in a ready started family. Like you, I am not interested in stepparenting for myself. It's just too hard to sync schedules between my xh and me...I don't even want to envision trying to schedule things between three households...and all those different parenting syles besides, not for me.

It's great that you know what you want. Just don't allow yourself to settle. You'll find someone great! And have you considered hanging out at the single dating mom board?