Oversensitive?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2003
Oversensitive?
3
Tue, 06-19-2007 - 7:22am

I met a guy through work back in early April, and since May have been exchanging emails with him on and off. Needless to say, I am very attracted to him (but was preoccupied with a lot of things then), and he did seem more responsive in emails (actually hes the one who initiated exchanges with me after the meeting) than a casual friend would do.

Now I am in Europe for 2 months, and upon my arrival here I did send an email to him describing my stay here. He sounded happy, and asked me to keep in touch, but did not reply for a week or two after another email from me. Then today I got a rather surprise email from him, with apologies. In his lengthy (much lengthier than usual) email he told me that hes on vacation in central China. In his last line he said something like he'll be thinking of me all the time during his stay there.

My friends and people on another chatboard all said that he's so obviously interested in me, (1) he only met me once and now is communicating with me even in vacation, over a long distance; (2) he's always responded to my mails promptly, even though I at first replied to him very slowly (waiting for weeks).

However I am a bit cynical, JUST BECAUSE we only met once. I am Asian and hes American. I always got the impression that Western guys are more open and expressive, but that means nothing. He might just be the kind who likes to communicate via emails.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2007
In reply to: muimuichu
Tue, 06-19-2007 - 9:10am
My opinion only: I think you won't be able to tell for sure if he really does like you until you're both back in the same city and he ACTUALLY ASKS YOU OUT. If you guys continue to e-mail for weeks at a time once you're back in the U.S., then he is not interested and please don't waste your precious time. And I'm not being sarcastic either. Your time is precious and you shouldn't waste it on lame guys who can't see how great you are. :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2007
In reply to: muimuichu
Tue, 06-19-2007 - 11:10am

I think he's interested. You'll never know for sure though without more information/an actual date. One problem with a "relationship" that is unfolding as slowly as this one is...it can cool down so much it just freezes over. If you seem sufficiently disinterested (to his judgement), he may think you only like him as a friend, and he'll move on.

If you want something more to develop...why don't you write him something like "I'd love to get together for a cup of coffee when I get back, would you be interested in that?" His response will give you useful info.

>you won't be able to tell for sure if he really does like you until you're both back in the same city and he ACTUALLY ASKS YOU OUT.

Why do so many people say that, if a woman is interested in a guy, she should just wait around and see if he does anything? A passive approach to life, waiting to see if what you want will drop into your lap, doesn't seem helpful. If YOU want something, do something about it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2007
In reply to: muimuichu
Tue, 06-19-2007 - 2:57pm
Ah, Jay, of course, you're right LOL I'm just saying if he's interested, he will ask her out but of course she doesn't have to wait - go ahead and drop that line in as well! (Like the example you gave - Maybe coffee or something...) :)