Pain, sadness and disappointed...

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2004
Pain, sadness and disappointed...
1
Sat, 09-25-2004 - 4:20pm
I was in a relationship for 3 over years and we broke up early this year. Reason for break up? My ex said he didn't want to have a relationship with anyone or to ever have a commitment. Well, this was one of the reason we broke up. Apart from that, his family disapproves of me because of our age gap. He's 19years older than me....

So anyway, we broke up. We're still friends. But recently, we met at a club and he's with this girl... And after the club ended, the DJ played a slow song.... and he danced with the girl. I know him so well... he's interested in the girl. And it completely crushed me when he danced with her when the DJ played a slow song.

I'm in a dilemma now. I just realized that after so many months, I still love him. And seeing him with another woman made me so sad. That person that he's dancing with used to be me. And the most painful part is that the friends who we always hang around with completely kicked me out of the circle when we broke up. Now, I see the reality. Who are my friends and who aren't...

I don't know what to do or what to say. I ran back (well, drove back home to be exact) home and cried my eyes out. How friends has treated me and seeing him doing that to me completely broke my heart.

Find another set of friends? Easier said than done... I've been with these people for 3 over years. Shared our happy times and our sad times together. And now... look what has happened?

I don't feel angry... I just feel the pain and sadness... And I don't know how to deal with it but to cry to myself about it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2004
Sat, 09-25-2004 - 10:23pm
I don't think you should be crying over something like that, unless it's to release bodily tension. In that case, it would help equilibrate the hormonal imbalance in your brain. I mean it makes no sense to be sad over something that you can't change and why would you want to? You were in love with something you thought he was, but he wasn't the person you hoped he would be. This means someone you'll spend the rest of your life with. So, that means there is another person you are yet to meet who will be your special someone. As for the friends, those people must be completely senseless if they evaluate a person based on who they date. I really do think you need to join some sort of an association or club and meet more people who could potentially be your friends. I, for instance, see NO reason to ever be friends with people who do not deserve my attention. I feel much better off being by myself than with someone who is a horrible person. Anyway, I say you should be HAPPY that you got yourself out of that click, it doesn't seem to me like they are someone to be hanging around with. Smile! You'll be ok! :)