paranoid..please help

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2005
paranoid..please help
1
Sat, 02-04-2006 - 12:39pm

I have been through the typical used and abused relationships. In my last one, I went out with a guy left for Toronto for two weeks and called me once in between that to go partying. When he got back he apologized and asked to meet up with me. Each time he either called me about half an hour before to cancel, or just not call at all and leave me hanging.

But NOW I have a new boyfriend who is completely different from anyone else. He treats me like I'm a princess etc. The thing is, is that I still think that each time we plan something, that he will cancel on me, though he never does, and always calls just to make sure! How do I stop myself from fretting about this. Also, he said he might be going to the military...I didnt freak out when he said this, but I was quite shocked and when he told me not to worry, I said that I can't. It got really awkward after this; I think he underestimates how much I like him. I'm just afraid that he'll just one day get up and leave, but how do I tell myself that this isn't going to happen? My friends call me paranoid and I want it to stop.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 02-04-2006 - 1:45pm
Judging him based on the actions of others is disrespectful of him. He is a unique man (as we all are unique people) so allow him to be who he is, free and clear of judgement based on your past experiences. If you outwardly show you are judging him based on others, he will see that you do not respect him. What do you think that would do to your relationship?