PERFECT GUY...his gf on her way out..k?

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anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
PERFECT GUY...his gf on her way out..k?
5
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 6:13pm
Long story short, there's this guy that I like and we've been flirting for a while now even though he has a girlfriend. NOW I KNOW ITS WRONG but they've been having some problems anyway, and I know the advice probably will be something to the affect of "wait until they break up" or "if he would do that to his gf blah blah blah" but It's EXTREMEMLY hard for me to find a guy who's Christian, has good morals, isn't completely dumb, is mature, funny, and sensitive... My question is, what should I do about pursuing a relationship there? We've jokingly kid around about going out sometime when we're bored, but I would really like to get to know him better, seriously.... What should I do?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2004
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 6:18pm
If he was really a mature, sensitive Christian with good morals he wouldn't be flirting or starting a relationship with someone while still commited to someone else. Why doesn't he end the relationship if its not working? If he would start seeing someone else before ending the relationship he's already in then he is not a good guy - no matter what kind of front he's put on for you so far.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 6:36pm
So, if you had a boyfriend and things weren't going so good between you - you'd flirt and consideer getting together with some other guy that had taken an interest in flirting with you?

Christian is a belief system..and obviously he has no problem telling you "we're having problems" and then flirting and whatever else.....meaning he'll have no problem doing that "to you" should you two end up together. High unlikely that he'll leave her if he can date you without doing it, though.

Erin

quickblade14@hotmail.com

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 7:22pm
But....he DOESN'T have good morals if he is flirting with you while he has a gf. I don't understand why you think he does.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 8:44pm
You don't have very high standards for yourself if you call this a perfect guy! Surely you're not implying that THIS guy is a good Christian with good morales, is funny, smart, sensitive and mature. He might be funny, but that would be all, based on what you've said about him. A sensitive, smart, mature guy with good morales doesn't betray people he cares about. Period. Any excuses you give are merely justifications for doing what you already admitted was wrong. People with good morales are those who do the right thing even when it's difficult or not fun. You're doing what feels good, but in reality it will only lead you to feelings that are far from good. Poor choices = unhappiness. That's something I learned about life a long time ago.

Or maybe you're saying that b/c it's EXTREMELY difficult for you to find a guy with all those things, you're lowering your standards to this guy? What a shame. I feel bad for you. You only think he's so great now b/c he's making you feel good about yourself. But if you felt good about yourself in the first place, you'd demand a higher standard of guy for yourself and you wouldn't be so easily impressed by any guy that comes along and flirts with you. I know this isn't what you wanted to hear and you probably won't listen. But I wanted to try any way b/c I hate seeing people headed straight for a brick wall, that they too could see if they'd only pull off the blinders. Good luck, really.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2003
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 10:53pm
Hey there,

The same thing has been happening to me for the last 8 months..... only I didn't know he and his gf were having problems until a month ago, when he confided ina friend of mine.

I did everything from go for lunch with him to stop by his desk and talk to him.... but then I just Stopped. I now only talk to him if I bump into him in the hall.... he still talks to me but I don't push for anything. If he breaks up with his gf... I will see what he does, but I will not persue him anymore. he knows I like him - it will be up to him.

Hope that advice helps!!