Phone Conversations

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2005
Phone Conversations
1
Sat, 09-24-2005 - 12:06am
HELP! How often do couples generally talk on the phone if they can't see eachother? My boyfriend and I live 3,000 miles away from eachother and even when he lived less than a mile from me, he didn't call me that much. Now, he always says that he's "too busy" or has other plans...I take this to mean he doesn't wanna be with me anymore. He keeps on telling me it's not the case and that he's just busy. Then why does he still have time to party? He keeps telling me he loves me and wants to marry me, etc...how often do couples talk on the phone normally? what do other people thing of this situation?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2003
Sat, 09-24-2005 - 6:11pm

i really don't know about other long-distance couples, and what the norms are, but me and my bf talk everyday. it only makes sense. it's not that we "decided" to talk everyday or "expect" to talk everyday. it just happens naturally, and i believe it should happen naturally with others too. long-distance, as it is, brings a lot of distance between the couple. not being in regular touch on top of that might make me feel disconnected with him, and it wont work that way. but then, every couple is different, and constraints are different.

does he live overseas? is money an issue?

i once had a really long-distance relationship with a person in a different country, and calling regularly was just not an option. money was certainly an issue, and the phone lines weren't clear either to begin with. so we made it up by talking everyday online.
that required patience, but it worked. if he doesn't have access to a computer, then that might be a bit of a problem in that case.

his saying he is just "too busy" isn't sitting well with me. but then, i don't know all the other facts. is he ever going to come back closer to you, or is it going to be long-distance for a while? is he "vague" about his day to day life, or is he forthright. when u both DO get a chance to touch base, do you feel he sincerely shows his interest in you, or does he seem distant. and is this a new relationship. how long were u both together before he left?

try to have a talk with him, and share with him ur feelings, and how much you miss him and would like more communication. i personally feel, apart from certain (believable)constraints that could be part of the picture, one can never be too busy for someone they really love. if u seriously feel something is amiss, then perhaps something is amiss.