pictures-- throw out or keep?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2004
pictures-- throw out or keep?
4
Tue, 08-23-2005 - 9:52pm

Hello! This is for the men and the ladies.

I will be moving to a different state soon and want to lighten up the load as much as possible. Which then led me to pictures. of my ex.

we dated for a total of five years. he cheated on me (twice) and needless to say i never really want to see him or talk to him ever again. the thing is, there are a lot of pictures that come along with that... i am the type of person that has a difficult time getting rid of any pictures.

one other slight problem is that we dated all through college. hence, my college buddies are in there too. with him.

so would you throw them out or would you keep them? or maybe throw some out and keep some? please help! Thank you :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2005
Wed, 08-24-2005 - 7:07am

Really your judgment call here. If you can't stand looking at him and it makes you mad and you get sucked into the past in a negative manner, then you know the answer. But if you can bear a picture of him, with all your other buddies, then you could keep that. If it's a romantic picture of the two of you, then it won't be advisable to keep that. You don't want your current date to see that or for you to have it around, accessible to you when you have moved on. It is just not needed. If looking at someone makes u smile, but not get emotional, you could keep that. Nothing wrong with pleasant memories.

I have pictures of some of my ex's in my album. And I am comfortable with that. I still respect them, like them, and they were good people overall. Some others I stashed it away somewhere. I don't even remember where they are. I have torn pictures (even though it tore my heart) and I know it just has to be done sometimes. But you will feel lighter eventually. It's like clearing the clutter. Or giving old clothes away (even if we really loved them).

I did read somewhere, and it was interesting...it said that ex's represent an energy you don't need around, when you are looking for Mr. Right. Even if you can't see (the pictures in this case) them, their energy is still around by your still holdin on to the past, and it's best to let go, so you have space to welcome someone new in your life.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Wed, 08-24-2005 - 9:49am
I am not one to keep pictures of somebody that cheated on me. Throw the pictures of him out. Cut out your buddies and keep them.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-24-2005 - 10:05am

sunnyand85...

Pianoguy still has pictures of the EX from the wedding ceremony. While his first inclination would be to "toss 'em in the trash"---there were friends and family members who were present during this "happy event!" And their presence meant a lot!

Sadly...my marriage came to an abrupt end 15 months later!

Here's something to kick around....

Maybe this is a choice of tolerating the image of YOUR EX in exchange for remembering the support you received from the people who participated in 'one of the happiest moments of your life?'

While most of my wedding pictures are firmly tucked away (and I'll probably only look at 'em once or twice over the next several years), I have an action-packed shot of the EX/WIFE and yours truly mounted on the computer room wall. The 2 of us are heading down the "Splash Mountain" ride (in Disneyworld) during our honeymoon. Her head is on my shoulder and her eyes are closed. This picture conjures up a lot of happy thoughts.

Perhaps you need to ask yourself if the earlier "happier memories" are worth preserving? If the overall thoughts concerning your EX make you miserable....TOSS THE PICTURES AND DON'T LOOK BACK!

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2004
Wed, 08-24-2005 - 7:21pm

Thank you so much, everyone, for your replies!

It has been almost been two years since we broke up. I think I will have to go through and see what kind of feelings come up. If nothing positive comes out of them I think I will have to get rid of them. In some ways I agree with that 'negativeness' still lingering even if i don't look at them. I think they still lurk since I find that I have to remind myself from time to time that my current bf deserves to be trusted. I am getting better at it though :) it's less frequent.

I am leaving this town, and once I leave, i will definitely NOT BE LOOKING BACK!! and probably NEVER COMING BACK either.

besides i think it will feel nice to get rid of CLUTTER!

Thanks again for your suggestions, advice, and stories :)