PISSED OFF for once...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2006
PISSED OFF for once...
12
Sun, 12-03-2006 - 6:17am

Okay. I'm not a person who gets angered easily AT ALL. I'm also not anal about many things. But I am anal about getting my sleep each night. I am also a virgin (just haven't found the right person to be with yet.) Anyways. Consider all that and read this.

I live with my best friend and her boyfriend. She always prides herself on how courteous and nontouchy they are or whatever. Last night at 1am, I woke up to her moaning. AKA, having sex. It pissed me off then, and I'm still pissed off now at 4am. After that, they turned the TV on LOUDLY. I never fell back asleep. I don't care if it's a Saturday night.

Lately I'm so sick of couples and couple talk I could puke. I'm not jealous, it's just everywhere in the world around me and its like, enough already!!! Now this!!!

Do I have a right to be pissed? How do I deal with this? Get a box fan to block out any future noise? When she asks why I got it, do I tell her the real reason why? Do I tell her next time to get a hotel room or I will? Please help me out here!

I haven't felt pissed like this in a long time. I think I'll go out for the day and just clear my mind.

Thanks in advance for your replies! Whoof! I think I cooled down a little just typing that...

Pink

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 12-03-2006 - 8:41am

Pink...

PG can understand your...(err)..."frustration" about the noise!

You didn't indicate who pays the rent...or if this is a 3-way split? (No pun intended).
So perhaps this is where you need to start?

From one who has been there (more than a few times), being the 'odd-man (or in your case ODD WOMAN) out' isn't fun? Any passion or a harmless smooch often triggers the fact that your best friend has someone...and YOU DON'T?

Maybe you need to have a serious one-to-one chat with your best friend...and her b/f? At least about turning the TV audio down? Then you can buy a large cotton sock for each of their mouths!!!

That should help you sleep a little better?

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2006
Sun, 12-03-2006 - 9:20am

We split the rent 3 ways. I'm actually single by choice (to an extent) as well. The issue isn't jealous at all. It's rudeness. The TV wouldn't have bugged me if they hadn't woken me up first. I know the TV wouldn't have woken me up at all. There's a hallway fan they could have turned on. Or the TV earlier. They knew the three of us had all just gone to bed. It's like, come on. If the roles were switched, I'd never do something like that to the point where I'd wake them up. Seriously.

Thanks for your words of understanding! :) I appreciate it!

Pink

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Sun, 12-03-2006 - 9:50am
If it's a 3 way split, then I don't think you have too much of a position unfortunately. If it were just you and her, you could ask that guests don't come over after a certain time. But this is stickier. The only thing I think you could do (aside from moving) is to have an honest and open conversation with her. If it is just a matter of sleep, then maybe establishing some boundaries would help put the after hour noise to an end...
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2006
Sun, 12-03-2006 - 9:54am

Thanks for your reply! I think I'm going to invest in some ear plugs as well. :P

Pink

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Sun, 12-03-2006 - 9:57am
Maybe one of those nighttime noise machines would help too? ;o)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2006
Sun, 12-03-2006 - 10:03am

Ha! Good thinking! :P The funny thing is, I KNOW she will feel bad/sheepish if she finds out why I've bought that stuff. I'm shocked that this is even suddenly an issue. I never expected it to be. There are few things in life that I'm touchy about but this is one of them! Perhaps I'm just old-fashioned.

Pink

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Sun, 12-03-2006 - 10:07am

I understand where you're coming from, completely. I live on my own, am 33, have been married and divorced, yet the prospect of bringing a guy I'm serious about

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Tue, 12-05-2006 - 8:41am

The tv at 4 am loud, yes you have a reason to be annoyed, it sounds like she's usually considerate though, perhaps ask why this one time she wasn't...

,
,
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Wed, 12-06-2006 - 6:46pm

Hi,

Have you talked to you friend about the noise at all? Otherwise she probably has absolutely no idea that they woke you up. Rather than buying all these things to block out the noise, just approach her, and be honest and say "you were a bit noisy the other night and it woke me up."

My boyfriend and I were in the same living arrangement as you (we lived with his friend). We were very conscious about any suspicious noises, to the point where we would have sex when he was out (or be very very quiet if he was in). The funny thing was he was the noisy one (he watched movies VERY loud at 12 at night, played loud music all day etc). In the end we gave him a pair of headphones and he got the hint (although we moved out of their and into a 1 bedroom apartment with no housemates, horay!)

But i am just like you, I hate any noise when I go to bed at night. The best course of action is to explain to your friend that at night you would appreciate it if they kept the noise down. You have the right to be able to sleep at night surely!

Other than that, is there anyone else you can stay with?

Good luck with everything!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2006
Thu, 12-07-2006 - 11:51pm

Actually it was kind of funny because I was kind of "cool" towards her after that evening. Not rude, but "cool". I think she sensed what was up because she was extra friendly. It's terrible, but I enjoyed watching her squirm, meaning, she thinks that I heard it, but doesn't know for sure... but is pretty sure, and that makes her squirm. :OP

A friend of ours came over to visit that evening and I was dozing on the sofa. This other friend said, "My, you're tired! It's early!" and I said, "I didn't get ANY sleep last night. I watched the hours roll by." To that, my "noisy" friend, paused in her tracks on her journey across the room. We're both at the same level intelligently. She knows. Trust me.

I win!

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